Movie Review #5

Now, I'm sure many of you can tell that I'm a Pixar fan after reading my review of Cars 2.  And, I'm also sure you're tired of reading me saying "I don't care what critics say, this is a GOOD movie", since that's pretty much a summary of what I've said in almost all my reviews.  Well the good news is, I'm not going to do that in THIS review.  Now that that is settled, I will begin my review.

WALL-E

As many of my friends in Lotus Fleet (great Star Trek fleet, room for plenty of new members!) who've read my favorite Pixar movie poll can tell you, this movie is not my cup of tea.  While many critics say it is one of Pixar's greatest acheivments, I must disagree.  To begin with, the story is not all that engaging.  We start seeing Wall-E cleaning up garbage.  Remember all those funny scenes we saw in the trailers?  Well, that pretty much is everything they have in this scene.  Then EVE comes in.  Wall-E meets her, shows her a plant he found, and she shuts down.  What follows is a boring montage showing Wall-E despretly taking care of her and falling in love with her.  While some may find this whole first act charming, I found it dull.  Don't hate me for this, but I have a hard time caring about Wall-E.  My reason is this:  I can't relate to him.  Sure he's inquisitive.  Sure he has emotions.  But the truth is, with a limited speech ability, and no real facial expression beyond 'normal' and 'eyes up', it's hard for me to connect with him, therefore it's hard for me to care about him.  And the first act is just to slow.  To my readers who have seen Star Trek: The Motion Picture, it's like that, only slower.  And honestly, the only part of it that I fought pushed it in TMP was the second act.  The rest of it I was engaged.  And while Wall-E may pick up after the first act, it still never fully recovers.  Seeing the fate of the human race in the furure is intresting and all, but it still didn't connect with me.  And I'm going to get this out of the way right now, I know many people will say Cars was slow, but the truth is, it was meant to be, and you got so engaged with the charecters, you just didn't care.  At least I didn't.  But with Wall-E I've no connection to the charecters, therefore I'm left wondering when the movie will end.  Anyways, EVE and Wal-E make it to the spaceship where they encounter resistance to bringing the plant to the captain.  Eventually they discover that the ships robotic pilot itself is under orders from the previous ruler of Earth not to let anyone back for fear that Earth was permanently uninhabitable.  While I like this twist, and great protrayal of a villian in an all-ages movie, it's just to late to save it.  In the end, the ship lands and everything's hunky-dorry.  However, the movie is not.  The visuals are standard Pixar fair, which is to say, they're phenomanal.  But awe-inspiring imagry cannot take away the films mediocraty.  Maybe I'm just weird, (well I actually am, but that's beside the point.) but I can't care about what happens to the charecters.  I can wacth the scene whare Wall-E almost dies without feeling the slightest emotion because a) this is a kids movie, therefore his survival is a given, and b) I just don't care.  I know Pixar tried, but this is their only movie where the chareters don't connect to me, and make me care about them, mainly because most of them can't protray their emotions in ways I understand, if at all.  Even in Cars 2 I felt sorry for Mater when he realizes that every one looks down on him, mainly because I go through almost the exact same thing.  Therefore, I relate.  I 'm sorry if this review dragged on, but I had to make my point.  Bottom Line: While this may be a fine movie for certain people, it's just not for me.  I like pretty much every Pixar movie (the only one Ican't say for sure is A Bug's Life, because I last saw that when I was six, therefore I don't remember a whole lot about it), but Wall-E just doesn't do it for me.  To me, Wall-E is Pixar's biggest failure, and most overrated film.

Game Review #1

Well, I decided I had to review a game eventually, it just took forever to figure out which one.  I thought about doing ME or ME2, but decided that all I'd be doing is echoing the critics.  You want my review of them anyway?  Buy them now.  There, I'm done.  That was easy.  Now on to the full-length review.

Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions

What kind of geek would I be if I didn't play comic book video games?  Anyways, I'm going to start by getting something big off my chest.  A lot of people, (or at least very vocale people on IGN) are bashing the game because it has no open-world.  My response:  SUCK IT UP! Not every great Spider-Man game has to have open world! GET A GRIP!  There.  I'm done.  Now to move on:

SM: SD is about four Spider-Men working together to find the fragments of the Tablet of Order and Chaos and reassemble it before reality as they know it is destroyed.  However, there are complications as many of the various villians of the realities find the fragments, and discover that they can give them new, frightening, and powerfull abilities.  Therefore, the Spider-Men must defeat them in order to regain the fragments.  But, what happens when the heroes fail to realise one of their most deadly adversaries knows about the Tablet, and knows that they are collecting pieces of it?  And if one fragment gives the enemies new abilities, what wolud happen if one got hold of the entire Tablet?  Thus the story goes.  It admitttedly isn't much, but I think you're meant to focus on the story within the levels, rather then the one for the overall game.  But they did not hesitate in varying up what new powers the villians were given.  Kraven gets lightning-fast speed, Scorpion 2099 gets the ability to create little miny forms of himself, (gross, I know) and Hammerhead Noir has his guns fused to his arms.  The four Spider-Man you play as are Amazing (mainstream Spidey), Ultimate (teenage Spidey in current times), Noir (from the 1930's) and 2099 (from the future).  Each has their own reality, gameplay style, art direction, and villians.  Amazing uses his agility and powerful web-based attacks, Ultimate dons the Venom suit, turning him into a one-man army who  can turn his suit into tendrils that whip the enemies, 2099, who is more of a hand-to-hand fighter, and Noir relies on stealth, due to his lack of stamina.  Ultimate also recieves a Rage Mode, which adds to his already considerble attack power, and 2099 has Accelerated Vision, which allows him to slow down time.  Each Spider-Man does play diffrently, but without feeling gimicky.  The differences between them feel very natural.  The graphics are great, with each world looking noticably different from the others.  Amazing looks like a pencil and ink comic, Ultimate is cel-shaded, 2099 is filled with neon and bright colors, and Noir has a grainy, black-and-white look.  Each has anincredible design, and every location feels different from the last.  Weather you're fighting on an oil rig as Ultimate, swinging through 2099's Nueva York, or traversing the jungle as Amazing, each location is very impressive.  So overall, it was a great game, especially for Spider-Man fans, even without open-world, which I personally think it was better without.  My advice is that all Marvel fans should at least rent it.  It truely was the most Amazing, Spectacular, Sensational Spider-Man game I've ever played.  And yes, the joke in that last sentence was intentional.  And now, Stan Lee and I proudly say: Excelsior!

Movie Review #3+4

Well, I'm sure you all have heard at least something about Transformers: Dark of the Moon.  And as I'm pretty sure you all have guessed, I'm a Transfoemers fan.  So naturally, you'd eexpect me to see it and review it here.  Well, I havn't.  Yep, I was just joking in those last parts.  Except for the part about being a Transformers fan.  I'm not going to review DOTM yet, if I see it at all.  Michael Bay really dissapointed me with ROTF, the second-worst movie I've ever seen (the first being Red Zone Cuba.  Not even MST3K could make it bearable.).  Any ways, in a historic first, today I'm reviewing TWO movies!  This is the part where the audiance gasps in suprise.  Anyways, I'm reviewing two movies I've seen recently.  To give a hint on what those are, the first one has been marketed the heck out of, and the second one is a movie with a very odd name.  Both are linked to Aston Martins.  Now, I will begin.


Cars 2

Yep, I saw it.  While I did have fears going into the theater that this would be standerd action movie and that it would be just another sequel that couldn't live up to its predecessor, I was pleasently suprised seeing it.  It had everything one would expect from a Pixar movie: Comedy, some Action, Breathtaking visuals, a great plot, and a heart.  The movie begins with British Agent Finn McMissile (voiceded by Michael Caine, and an Aston Martin of course. :)  Now you know how this one links.) infiltrating an oil rig.  After ineivitably being discovered, a thrilling action sequence ensues, with Finn presumed dead, but in reality he just turned into a submersible car (They really enjoyed the 007 references here.) and let four tires out of his trunk to throw them off.  Meanwhile  Lightning McQueen prepares to participate in the first World Grand Prix, and brings Mater along to their first stop, Tokyo.  There, Mater is mistaken for an American CIA agent by Finn and assistant in the Tokyo devision Holly Shiftwell.  What happens after that?  Watch the movie to find out.  I'm not going to tell you everything. :)  Suffice to say, Mater learns that almost every one he knows thinks he's an idiot, and has to find a way to deal with that, while saving the cars in the race.  One thing I'll say is, if you took away the more fantastical parts of the villians plot, it would actually be a realistic scheme.  The villians here are not out to take over the world.  They just want respect, and millions of dollars.  Anyways, onto the next  movie.

Octopussy

Ah, my first James Bond movie in years.  I havn't seen one since I was four, I think.  Anyways I can now understand what's going on.  I saw a review of this on youtube where a guy said he didn't like the humour in it.  I don't know why.  Maybe he just prefers darker stories.  Anyways, I liked this movie, and feel it is very underrated.  Just because 007 dresses like a clown on one scene dosn't mean it's bad.  It was a fun experiance.  The story starts with Agent 009 dying (literally) to get a strange jeweled egg to a British ambassador.  It's discovered to be a Faberge egg, and Bond ends upp in a mystery involving Jewel Theives, palaces surronded by crocodiles, Bond girls (of course), and an atomic bomb.  It all makes for a very fun movie, and a perfect example of James Bond films.  I thouroghly enjoyed it.

Well that concludes my movie reviews for this post.  I'm your host, James Picard.  Thank you for listening (Orchestral music used in fantasy movies starts playing.).

Creative Writing

Now, I know my legion of readers (all two of them) have been expecting a Spider-Man fanfic based off of its greatest show for some time.  Well, I've got some bad news: I've scrapped that project.  The truth is, I've had a hard time figuring out how to start it, and eventually I decided to just accept that Disney was stupid and cancelled it to replace it with another show that will basically be "Spider-Man: The Brave and the Bold".  Also, in Language Arts class a few months ago, we were assigned a creative writing unit, in which we were to create fictional stories.  Now, I had been reading a lot about the Marvel 2099 line, and began to wonder: what would it be like, if they had the dystopian future thing and the super-heroes, but had space travel?  And that is the short version of how the story I AM working on, The 42nd Brigade, came into being.  Of course, many of my readers (all two-ah, skip it) already know this because I wrote it on top of my thread in which I posted Chapter 1.  Now, I know many of you are wondering: "It's been a couple of months, why hasn't he put in more?"  Well, I've been busy with school and moving and such (oh yeah, I should probably mention we're moving to York, PA).  But, as soon as I get a chance, I'll get it up, although first I'll edit Chapter 1 so it's longer, it seems to short to me.  Signing off!

Movie Review #2

Well, this review tackles another heavy-hitter, that classic film, Ghostbusters 2!  Any one can go on here and say they like the first one, but it takes guts to go on here and say that you like the sequel just as much as the original.  Any ways, this movie was the perfect sequel to that iconic film.  Granted, I wasn't alive to see it in theaters, so that might contribute to my oppinion, but, I still have it.  So, on to the review.

     For those of you that don't know, this film picks up five years after the first one.  The Ghostbusters are essentially dead, (and by that I mean their buisness) asside from guest appearences at children's parties by Ray and Winston.  The reason they're pretty much gone is because, after the events of the first film, they were "Sued by every state, county, and city license in New York", and given a restraining order preventing them from being 'Paranormal Investigators an Eliminators'.  Ray owns a book shop, Egon works at a college, Peter hosts a TV show, and Dana Barret has married, (not with Peter) had a child, divorced, and taken up painting restoration (No one knows what Winston does, other than the parties).  Meanwhile, one of the paintings currently at the museum Dana works at, secretly houses the spirit of a very old tyrant and magician, planning for a rebirth.  He decides to use Dana's infant, Oscar, to do this.  After a failed attempt, Dana naturally calls in the Ghostbusters.  Their investigation leads to the discovery of a giant river of slime in New York's underground, and the Great Blackout of '89.  During their trial, the slime is revealed to have powers that are affected by peoples positive or negative additudes.  When the judges hatred accidentaly causes the slime to turn vitims he tried for murder and put in the chair, he imediatly removes the restraining order, and all charges.  After the Ghostbusters capture the two ghosts, they triumphantly announce that they are starting their buisness up again.  During the course of several events, the Ghostbusters discover the painting, (but not the spirit) learn of a link between the spirit and the slime, and save the world again. No complaints from me, plotwise.  The charecters are their normal selves, funny as ever.  The FX are top-notch, even today.  Plenty of funny moments abound.  Pretty much the first one, in terms of quality.  All in all, a pretty good movie.

Movie Revew #1

     Well, since this is my first review, I thoght I'd start out with that old juggernaut, The Phantom Menace!  Now, I know by now my strange blog followers, that you can probalbly assume how this will go.  You probably think i'm going to a) Bash Jar Jar for being annoying, b) bash Jake Lloyd and/or Natalie Portman's acting, c) bash the midi-chlorian idea, or d) all of the above.  YOU ARE WRONG SIR!  I will not do any of this!  Instead, I will give you a positive review.

     I will start with the story, simply for the sake of tradition among reviewing movies and other works.  Qui-Gon Jiin, and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi attempt to settle a blockade of a planet called Naboo by the Trade Federation.  These 'negotiations' fail, and they are forced to escape to the planet below.  Eventually, they find Jar Jar Binks, rescue the Queen, and escape.  However, their ship was damaged during said escape, and they're forced to stop and make repairs, and why the heck am I even doing this?  You people should know the plot, why do I have to tell you?  You're geeks, same as me, why am I telling you things you would have to hand in your geek licenses for if you didn't know them?  Any ways, on to the actual review of the plot.  The story was good, and very engaging - especially the parts about Anakin.  The only real complaint I have is that the Midichlorions could've been handled better.  I don't mind them, I think it works for them finding out about Anakin and all, but George could've explained it more, and basically tell the audiance that thet are, at least, as I've almost always thought of them, a physical manifestation of the Force.  Anyways, that's about it for plot, which is the biggest factor in my oppinion.

     The fight scenes and vehicle sequences were truely spectacular.  Compare them to the original version of A New Hope, and you'll see what I mean.  Honestly, the fights were a lot more action-packed and suspensfull than the ones seen in the Original Trilogy.  Casting Ray Park as Darth Maul's body was one of George's best decisions ever.  And the Podrace and Starfight were fun to watch and the difference in FX between the Originals was painfully obvious.  This is not to say the effects were bad in The first movies, but the ones in here were a lot better.  I enjoy the Trench Run myself, but liked it more in the 2004 version with updated effects.

     The charecters were also great.  Liam Neeson is a terriffic actor, and so is Ewan McGregor.  Jake Lloyd seemed pretty good to me, and my Dad thinks he was good, so you know, he can't be all that bad.  Natalie Portman did pretty good in my oppinion too.  Well, I guess that sums up the charecters.

   All in all, I think it was a pretty good movie.  There is one thing I should point out though.  I did not see this in theaters, mainly because I was too young.  and you've gotta be pretty young not to be able to see a Star Wars movie.  Iwasn't able to understand the Hype at the time, (which I've heard was massive by the way) so I went into this movie without any real idea what I'd get.  And honestly, four-year olds are easily impressed.  Plus, this was the first Star Wars movie I'd ever seen.  These are reasons why I think my generation is more accepting of the film.  Anyways, I liked it, but I felt I should put out there that there are reasons why I like this film more than the average older Star Wars fan.   See you at my next review!

P.S. In an unrelated note, I've decided to write a fanfic called 'The 42'nd Brigade'!  Coming soon to a fourm section on Lotus fleet called the 'Holonovel Suite' near you!

Poke-geekdom

Don't ask me, I've no idea how it happened, buuuuuut, I got my Mom to buy me a copy of Pokemon White.  I know, most kids my age don't really like it and arn't into that sort of thing but I did it.  I thought I had put it behind me, I thought I had just lost intrest, and now I'm sucked back in.  Oh well.  Yes, I was a Poke-geek.  I collected the cards, a few toys, played the games watched the T.V. show, etc.  I will admit, while the show has not brought me back yet (The show is older than its protaganist? REALY!?  And it takes him how long to actually GET all the Gym Badges?  And he's never become a Pkemon Champion?  Geez, how long do we have to wait?), I still play the games.  I dived so far into the geekdom, I read like, 5 articles on IGN about it this morning.  Maybe 8.  Anyways, I now own Pokemon White.  Well, I guess it happens to everybody.  At least I'm not as far gone as my Mom, who has 7/17/700/infinite Dratini's.  Well, here's to hoping I enjoy it.  Also, just so I can do something on my blog, (since, quite honestly, my life would be a pretty dull thing to read about every day) I have decided to post reviews on movies, books, and video games I've recently wacthed/read/played.  In addition, I plan to eventually post my fanfic based of the Spectacular Spider-Man TV show here.  As soon as it comes into existance, that is.  Well that's all for this post.  Say good night Gracey.