Well, it's taken some time, but here's my new book review! I'm sure many who call themselves Star Wars geeks have heard of Timothy Zahn's classic Heir to the Empire. In fact, most of you have probably read it. This review is not about that book, nor is it about its terrific sequels (Yes, I just said that) Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command. It also is not about either of the books in Zahn's Hand of Thrawn duology. No friends, this is about the first Zahn Star Wars novel to be published by Del Rey, Survivor's Quest.
For those of you who don't know much about the behind-the-scenes history of the Star Wars EU (Expanded Universe), let me give you a short crash-course. Back when the original movies were coming out, novelizations were published by Del Rey (Also the original publishers of the Belgariad, the book series I reviewed several months ago), along with a few spin-off books of their own. Then Bantam Spectra aquired the license, and 1991 they published Heir to the Empire, to massive acclaim. This was followed by the rest of Zahn's Thrawn trilogy, and soon many authors were publishing the continuing adventures of Luke, Leia, Han, Lando (ever notice that three out of the four core human names start with L?), Chewie, C-3P0, R2-D2, and new additions from Zahn, Mara Jade and Talon Karrde. This went on until December of 1999, when the last Bantam Star wars book was published, and the license was given back to Del Rey. According to my friend N'eligahn, the first question they asked when they got the license back was "Who can we kill?". To be fair, Simon Furman asked the same thing when he was offered the chance to write the series finale of the classic cartoon "Beast Wars: Transformers", but he was an acclaimed writer from the comics, and it was understood that here, the story would actually be GOOD. Then Lucas established that the only non-killable charecters were Luke and Leia. And sure enough, the first new novel by them kills off Chewbacca. Yep, it's fairly obvious what their stance on the books is. Anyways, onto the review.
Survivor's Quest
Our story starts three years after Luke and Mara got married (Thank you Zahn! That was a godsend!), and they've been contacted by Admiral Parck (from the Empire of the Hand) who tells them the Chiss (Grand Admiral Thrawn's species) want them to join a ship they're sending to the ruins of the Outbound Flight, which was destroyed by Thrawn just before Revenge of the Sith. The Chiss, feeling guilty about the whole thing, want to make amends and pay their respects. Some other noteworthy passengers include Parck's son, who is now in command of the famed 501st, a man posing as a New Republic ambassador, and member's of a species that seem to think Outbound Flight saved them from the dreaded Vagaari (whom we've never heard of untill now.) This is where my first two problems with the story lie: how the heck did Outbound Flight crash (with most of the ships INTACT) when it was established in an earlier Zahn book that it was UTTERLY DESTROYED, and only ONE ship BARELY survived. Thank you for giving continuity the bird, Del Rey. Another thing I need to mention, it's also established that even though Luke and Mara have been married for three years, they still, haven't been able to spend much time with each other, given all the problems in the galaxy that we don't know about. And still, we hardly touch on that. Anyone else noticing a distinct decline in quality from Zahn's original works? Anyways, the ship is repeatedly sabotoged on the trip there, and suspicions arise, and whatnot. They finally reach their destination and discover their are survivors from the crash. Huge plot twist, right? I haven't mentioned this yet, but we're about halfway through the book already, and very little charecter development has happened. Then we discover that the 'gentle' aliens were really the Vagaari all along, and they want Outbound Flight for some reason that isn't really explained. It's also established that the survivors of the OF hate Jedi for yet another reason the book doesn't explain. Again, I'm wondering just how much of a hand Zahn had in the overall story of the book, because it certainly seems he was just hired to put the pre-written outline onto paper. Anyways, the aliens are stopped, the good guys win, blah blah blah, you know the drill. So that's Survivor's Quest. A Timothy Zahn book that feels nothing like it. Nice job, Del Rey. You produced yet another crappy book, and worst of all, you got one of my favorite authors involved. Seriously people, stick to Bantam's books and leave the rest to rot. You'll thank me later.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Movie Review #9-10
Well, I decided that two movies I've seen recently have been deemed worthy enough to review on this blog, so here we go. The first one's based off a classic (well, not yet, but it will be, mark my words) cartoon. The other took six years to make, is the second-most expensive film ever made, and for you Trekkies, Trekkers, and Niners out there, stars Donna Murphy, who played Anji in Innsurrection. So with out further ado, I will begin.
Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension in Fabulous 2D
Hey, it's a movie involving interdimensional travel, what do you expect from me? That movie about the rubberbands (shudders)? Anyways, for those of you who havn't heard or don't understand Phineas and Ferb, I'll give you a backdrop: Phineas and Ferb are two roughly ten-year-old step-brothers who decide to make the most of their summer vacation by building and doing fun things like making rollercoasters, time machines, giant robot dogs, machines that defy gravity, portals to Mars, and other cool stuff, along with their friends Isabella (who almost-secretly [everyone but her crush knows] harbors a crush on Phineas), Baljeet (an immagrant from India with a strange obsession with math), and Buford (a "bully" whose most frequent victim is Baljeet). They have a very nosy sister named Candace (the annoying attempt to inject teen melodrama into the show, yes we never get enough of that), who constantly tries to "bust" (unfortunatly, Disney never bothers to stray from that word, so it's practically a catchphrase) them to her Mom, with little success. The secret to this is that their pet platypus (yes, you read that right), Perry, is actually a secret agent who goes off to battle an inept evil scientist named Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Inadvertently, their battles cause Phineas and Ferb's inventions to be transported elsewhere, or destroyed. That is the series in a nutshell (though it probably would be easier and more fun to just watch the show to get an idea of how it works), although I did forget to mention that in almost every episode, a short song is sung, sometimes multiple. But, that's about it. On to the movie!
Our story begins with Phineas and Ferb celebrating the anniversary of their adopting Perry, and deciding to make platypus-like catupaults to play a giant version of bagdmitton. Meanwhile, Perry is being breifed by his superior, Major Monogram, on his mission of the day. He is also reminded that if his owners were ever to find out his identity, he would have to be relocated, as the situation would become much too dangerous for them. Then an unpaid intern (whose been working for them for 5 years and has somehow been below even that rank), Carl, meets with Agent P (for Perry) to give him tools he might need in the field in a sequence that James Bond fans will love. One of these tools is a new rocket car, which has a very touchy accelerator, launching Agent P right through the roof of his lair, just as Phineas and Ferb have launched their giant shuttlecock. The car and 'cock collide, crashing the car, and causing the 'cock, containing Phineas and Ferb, to be sent to the worst place possible: Dr. Doofenshmirtz's building. They crash into the doctors inator of the day (yes, almost all of them are called something-inator), and, not knowing the doctor is evil, offer to help fix his machine, and Other-dimensionator. Perry eventually arrives, but is unable to do much with the boys there. Despite his best efforts, the machine is completed and they all cross over into the 2nd Dimension. There, they discover that this universe's Doof has already accomplished the 1st Dimension's one dream: to be the undisputed overlord and master of the entire Tri-State Area. They all meet with Doof-2, who reveals that he has defeated Perry-2 and made him a cyborg leader of his robot army. Doof-2 then exposes regular Perry as secret agent, much to Phineas' shock and anger, and they narrowly escape a group of robots and the Platyborg. After discovering the remote they invented for the Other-Dimensionator is malfunctioning, they decide to find their counterparts, while Doof-2 decides to invade the 1st dimension, and tries to capture the regular Perry. That is the plot of the movie without giving away most of the middle, and the end.
The animation is regular Phineas and Ferb stuff, with a little CGI for the robots. The story is very good, and you can really see how betrayed Phineas felt that Perry kept a secret like this from them. That's really the heart of the film: Phineas and Ferb's relationship with Perry. The worst part is, Perry can't even tell them why he had to keep his identity a secret, because, well, he's a platypus. But it's very clear that they all love each other very dearly, and are willing to go to any length to protect each other. The only thing that upset me was the ending, but that was a fan moment, and I can let it pass, because the rest of it makes me forget that part entirely. Well, almost. It was at the end, and any Phineas and Ferb fan whose seen the episode "I was a Middle-Aged Robot" will possibly understand. And no, I'm not going to spoil it. Go watch the movie yourself, instead of being lazy and reading a completely unproffessional, unwarrented, and probably unwanted, review. Anyways, now onto one of the biggest parts of Phineas and Ferb: the music. This movie was no slouch when it came to songs, with a total of nine, rivaling the amount of only "Rollercoaster: The Musical!". Thankfully, they're all good as well. "Robot Riot" was a lot of fun, and "Summer (Where Do We Begin?)" is a perfect song to describe exactly what Phineas and Ferb is all about. And the regular Phineas and Ferb humour is here, including (of course) the reference to Meap. And yes, my knowledge of this show nearly rivals my Star Trek trivia, if not surpassing it. In conclusion, this is the best DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie for you laymen) in years, and I would heavily reccomend it to anyone who bothers to read this long, dull, and geeky blog (Have I bored you to sleep yet? If so, don't say anything.).
Tangled
I'm beggining to see a pattern here. All right, I'll admit it: I'm a sucker for Disney movies. I won't apologise for that. I can like whatever I want. And let's be honest, who is there alive that hasn't watched a Disney movie and enjoyed it? That can only be fifty people at most, and that's not very much. I will say, however, that Disney isn't infallible. Their T.V. channel proves that much. But I digress. I can honestly say that when I saw this, I was there because of Flynn and Maximus. I've never been that into Disney's Princess movies. Why, I defy you to guess, but some tend to think it's my gender. However that might be, I still wasn't a fan. I may have enjoyed Mulan (Which really isn't a Princess movie anyways), The Princess and the Frog (I think the music had something to do with that), and Beauty and the Beast (Because anyone who doesn't like this movie obviously only likes really violent movies or really raunchy ones), but I couldn't watch the rest (of the princesses, at least, in movies where they were the main protaganist. I can enjoy plenty of other Disney movies.). They just weren't for me. Then we saw this movie. And I'm still astonished to this day that it was as good as it was. I'll admit I was suprised that Rapunzel was as prominent as she was, but it didn't detract. Rather, I think I've gained a new appreciation for these kinds of movies, and I'm totally okay with that. Anyways, Tangled is about (be aware, this is a pretty long backstory, and I'm still suprised it went by so quick in the movie) how an old women uses a magic flower created from a sundrop to regain her youth. However, a nearby King uproots the flower to save his dying wife, who's currently preganent. The magic works, and a baby girl with blond hair (her parents have brown, so this is probably an effect of the flower) is born. The old women, Mother Gothel, sneaks in, and after discovering that the babies hair loses its power when cut, takes the child, and flees to a secluded tower in the forest, where she raises the child, Rapunzel, as her own, and imprisons the young Princess. However, the King and Queen launch thousands of floating lanterns into the sky every year on Rapunzel's birthday, in an effort to guide her home. Years later, Rapunzel is about to turn eightteen, and has still never left her tower. However, to keep her company, she keeps a chameleon as a pet, named Pascal. Try as she might, she still cannot convince Gothel to let her out to see the lights in person. Meanwhile, swashbuckling rogue Flynn Rider has just stolen the Princess' crown and is fleeing for his life in the very forest Gothel has taken refuge in. Upon seeing the tower, he climbs in, and Rapunzel, believing him to be a thug after her hair, knocks him out with a frying pan. Deciding that she needs someone to guide her to the lights and back, tells Flynn that she will not give him his satchel containing the crown unless he does so. Although reluctant, he agrees, and they set of on a journey involving singing pub thugs, a fight sequence at a dam, and a very overzalous palace horse named Maximus. Along the way, the usual things happen, and Rapunzel and Flynn begin to fall in love. But can they escape Mother Gothel's sinister plans? And do I sound too much like the blurb of a book?
Anyways, that's the plot of the movie. Nothing astounding, but it's there at least. I can think of a few movies right now that barely had a plot at all (I'm looking at you, Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny [You'd be suprised what you can get off RiffTrax]) The charecters are all very well-constructed, making them seem like living, breathing people. Gothel in paticular is very interesting as a villian, as she's either a very good actress, or does slightly somewhere care about Rapunzel (that just gets destroyed once Rapunzel leaves). And Flynn of course is a hilarious addition, masterfully voiced by Chuck's Zachery Levi. However, two of the most memorable charecters actually had no voice actor: Pascal and Maximus, who clearly steal every scene they're in. The humor of the movie is spot-on, and never feeling out of place, or resorting to the DreamWorks method of pop-culture parody that they have so clearly defined. Instead they rely on the situation itself, or the charecters ability to deal out one-liners. I'm not saying DreamWorks humor is bad, rather it's just their expertise, not Disney's. Disney can't do their type, and when they try to, it falls pretty flat. Thankfully, they avoid this, and make a much better film in the process. I especially loved Flynn's reply to Rapunzel correcting him on whether Pascal was a frog or a chameleon. "Nuance!" And the visuals were quite a sight to behold. While some films were made for traditional hand-drawn animation, this movie clearly knew it was CGI and used every chance it had to make use of that fact. The lanterns would absitively posilutely not been as amazing hand-drawn. All-in-all, it was definetley a film worhty to be Disney's fiftieth animated feature, and I daresay Walter himself would have been proud, if he were alive today. But the torch has been passed. BTW, all Disney fans and Phineas and Ferb fans should be on the lookout for news about an upcoming theatrical Phineas and Ferb movie. No gurantees it will be in Fabulous 2D though!
Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension in Fabulous 2D
Hey, it's a movie involving interdimensional travel, what do you expect from me? That movie about the rubberbands (shudders)? Anyways, for those of you who havn't heard or don't understand Phineas and Ferb, I'll give you a backdrop: Phineas and Ferb are two roughly ten-year-old step-brothers who decide to make the most of their summer vacation by building and doing fun things like making rollercoasters, time machines, giant robot dogs, machines that defy gravity, portals to Mars, and other cool stuff, along with their friends Isabella (who almost-secretly [everyone but her crush knows] harbors a crush on Phineas), Baljeet (an immagrant from India with a strange obsession with math), and Buford (a "bully" whose most frequent victim is Baljeet). They have a very nosy sister named Candace (the annoying attempt to inject teen melodrama into the show, yes we never get enough of that), who constantly tries to "bust" (unfortunatly, Disney never bothers to stray from that word, so it's practically a catchphrase) them to her Mom, with little success. The secret to this is that their pet platypus (yes, you read that right), Perry, is actually a secret agent who goes off to battle an inept evil scientist named Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Inadvertently, their battles cause Phineas and Ferb's inventions to be transported elsewhere, or destroyed. That is the series in a nutshell (though it probably would be easier and more fun to just watch the show to get an idea of how it works), although I did forget to mention that in almost every episode, a short song is sung, sometimes multiple. But, that's about it. On to the movie!
Our story begins with Phineas and Ferb celebrating the anniversary of their adopting Perry, and deciding to make platypus-like catupaults to play a giant version of bagdmitton. Meanwhile, Perry is being breifed by his superior, Major Monogram, on his mission of the day. He is also reminded that if his owners were ever to find out his identity, he would have to be relocated, as the situation would become much too dangerous for them. Then an unpaid intern (whose been working for them for 5 years and has somehow been below even that rank), Carl, meets with Agent P (for Perry) to give him tools he might need in the field in a sequence that James Bond fans will love. One of these tools is a new rocket car, which has a very touchy accelerator, launching Agent P right through the roof of his lair, just as Phineas and Ferb have launched their giant shuttlecock. The car and 'cock collide, crashing the car, and causing the 'cock, containing Phineas and Ferb, to be sent to the worst place possible: Dr. Doofenshmirtz's building. They crash into the doctors inator of the day (yes, almost all of them are called something-inator), and, not knowing the doctor is evil, offer to help fix his machine, and Other-dimensionator. Perry eventually arrives, but is unable to do much with the boys there. Despite his best efforts, the machine is completed and they all cross over into the 2nd Dimension. There, they discover that this universe's Doof has already accomplished the 1st Dimension's one dream: to be the undisputed overlord and master of the entire Tri-State Area. They all meet with Doof-2, who reveals that he has defeated Perry-2 and made him a cyborg leader of his robot army. Doof-2 then exposes regular Perry as secret agent, much to Phineas' shock and anger, and they narrowly escape a group of robots and the Platyborg. After discovering the remote they invented for the Other-Dimensionator is malfunctioning, they decide to find their counterparts, while Doof-2 decides to invade the 1st dimension, and tries to capture the regular Perry. That is the plot of the movie without giving away most of the middle, and the end.
The animation is regular Phineas and Ferb stuff, with a little CGI for the robots. The story is very good, and you can really see how betrayed Phineas felt that Perry kept a secret like this from them. That's really the heart of the film: Phineas and Ferb's relationship with Perry. The worst part is, Perry can't even tell them why he had to keep his identity a secret, because, well, he's a platypus. But it's very clear that they all love each other very dearly, and are willing to go to any length to protect each other. The only thing that upset me was the ending, but that was a fan moment, and I can let it pass, because the rest of it makes me forget that part entirely. Well, almost. It was at the end, and any Phineas and Ferb fan whose seen the episode "I was a Middle-Aged Robot" will possibly understand. And no, I'm not going to spoil it. Go watch the movie yourself, instead of being lazy and reading a completely unproffessional, unwarrented, and probably unwanted, review. Anyways, now onto one of the biggest parts of Phineas and Ferb: the music. This movie was no slouch when it came to songs, with a total of nine, rivaling the amount of only "Rollercoaster: The Musical!". Thankfully, they're all good as well. "Robot Riot" was a lot of fun, and "Summer (Where Do We Begin?)" is a perfect song to describe exactly what Phineas and Ferb is all about. And the regular Phineas and Ferb humour is here, including (of course) the reference to Meap. And yes, my knowledge of this show nearly rivals my Star Trek trivia, if not surpassing it. In conclusion, this is the best DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie for you laymen) in years, and I would heavily reccomend it to anyone who bothers to read this long, dull, and geeky blog (Have I bored you to sleep yet? If so, don't say anything.).
Tangled
I'm beggining to see a pattern here. All right, I'll admit it: I'm a sucker for Disney movies. I won't apologise for that. I can like whatever I want. And let's be honest, who is there alive that hasn't watched a Disney movie and enjoyed it? That can only be fifty people at most, and that's not very much. I will say, however, that Disney isn't infallible. Their T.V. channel proves that much. But I digress. I can honestly say that when I saw this, I was there because of Flynn and Maximus. I've never been that into Disney's Princess movies. Why, I defy you to guess, but some tend to think it's my gender. However that might be, I still wasn't a fan. I may have enjoyed Mulan (Which really isn't a Princess movie anyways), The Princess and the Frog (I think the music had something to do with that), and Beauty and the Beast (Because anyone who doesn't like this movie obviously only likes really violent movies or really raunchy ones), but I couldn't watch the rest (of the princesses, at least, in movies where they were the main protaganist. I can enjoy plenty of other Disney movies.). They just weren't for me. Then we saw this movie. And I'm still astonished to this day that it was as good as it was. I'll admit I was suprised that Rapunzel was as prominent as she was, but it didn't detract. Rather, I think I've gained a new appreciation for these kinds of movies, and I'm totally okay with that. Anyways, Tangled is about (be aware, this is a pretty long backstory, and I'm still suprised it went by so quick in the movie) how an old women uses a magic flower created from a sundrop to regain her youth. However, a nearby King uproots the flower to save his dying wife, who's currently preganent. The magic works, and a baby girl with blond hair (her parents have brown, so this is probably an effect of the flower) is born. The old women, Mother Gothel, sneaks in, and after discovering that the babies hair loses its power when cut, takes the child, and flees to a secluded tower in the forest, where she raises the child, Rapunzel, as her own, and imprisons the young Princess. However, the King and Queen launch thousands of floating lanterns into the sky every year on Rapunzel's birthday, in an effort to guide her home. Years later, Rapunzel is about to turn eightteen, and has still never left her tower. However, to keep her company, she keeps a chameleon as a pet, named Pascal. Try as she might, she still cannot convince Gothel to let her out to see the lights in person. Meanwhile, swashbuckling rogue Flynn Rider has just stolen the Princess' crown and is fleeing for his life in the very forest Gothel has taken refuge in. Upon seeing the tower, he climbs in, and Rapunzel, believing him to be a thug after her hair, knocks him out with a frying pan. Deciding that she needs someone to guide her to the lights and back, tells Flynn that she will not give him his satchel containing the crown unless he does so. Although reluctant, he agrees, and they set of on a journey involving singing pub thugs, a fight sequence at a dam, and a very overzalous palace horse named Maximus. Along the way, the usual things happen, and Rapunzel and Flynn begin to fall in love. But can they escape Mother Gothel's sinister plans? And do I sound too much like the blurb of a book?
Anyways, that's the plot of the movie. Nothing astounding, but it's there at least. I can think of a few movies right now that barely had a plot at all (I'm looking at you, Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny [You'd be suprised what you can get off RiffTrax]) The charecters are all very well-constructed, making them seem like living, breathing people. Gothel in paticular is very interesting as a villian, as she's either a very good actress, or does slightly somewhere care about Rapunzel (that just gets destroyed once Rapunzel leaves). And Flynn of course is a hilarious addition, masterfully voiced by Chuck's Zachery Levi. However, two of the most memorable charecters actually had no voice actor: Pascal and Maximus, who clearly steal every scene they're in. The humor of the movie is spot-on, and never feeling out of place, or resorting to the DreamWorks method of pop-culture parody that they have so clearly defined. Instead they rely on the situation itself, or the charecters ability to deal out one-liners. I'm not saying DreamWorks humor is bad, rather it's just their expertise, not Disney's. Disney can't do their type, and when they try to, it falls pretty flat. Thankfully, they avoid this, and make a much better film in the process. I especially loved Flynn's reply to Rapunzel correcting him on whether Pascal was a frog or a chameleon. "Nuance!" And the visuals were quite a sight to behold. While some films were made for traditional hand-drawn animation, this movie clearly knew it was CGI and used every chance it had to make use of that fact. The lanterns would absitively posilutely not been as amazing hand-drawn. All-in-all, it was definetley a film worhty to be Disney's fiftieth animated feature, and I daresay Walter himself would have been proud, if he were alive today. But the torch has been passed. BTW, all Disney fans and Phineas and Ferb fans should be on the lookout for news about an upcoming theatrical Phineas and Ferb movie. No gurantees it will be in Fabulous 2D though!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Book Review #1-5
Yes, in one of my greatest acts of geekiness, I will now review a boook series for my adoring public. Hi fans! (Waves). Anyway, I'm going to review something so amazing, so suprising, so shocking, that certain readers (you know who you are) may need to turn around and vomit on the person sitting next to you right after jumping through the ceiling (Note: I am NOT legally responsible for any suits brought to these readers over property damage). And now, without further ado, I give you, my first book series review.
The Belgariad
Wait, you mean to tell me that no one is suprised by this? No shock? No property damage suits? Fine, have it your way. For you layman who've never heard of The Belgariad or David Eddings, (how one can't is beyond me. You'd have to be from a different planet. Then again, it may be the other way around.) it's a story about a boy named Garrion who joins a quest to recover a mysterious mystical object, defeat monsters, and fufill prophecies. Yes, it is very generic, but, I prefer to let the book do the spoiling rather than me. Seriously, if you can't figure out what direction the books take after the first one, Pawn of Prophecy, than you have the IQ of a peice of gum. Before I jump into the review itself, I need to establish one thing: I will not be reviewing the books individually. My reasons for this will be explained later, but for now, you've been warned.
The plot is fairly good, if predictable, but that's part of the charm of the story. It makes no attempts to sway from its path, and is able to have fun with itself. That's one of the series main strengths: it doesn't take itself too seriously. Sure, it does have serious moments, but it does try to be fun. And it succeeds almost effortlessly. Silk in paticular is a ridiculously funny charecter. Its magic/sorcery/witchcraft/wizardry/aaugh! system is also unique, and one of the few series I've read where people bother to differentiate between sorcerers (the main people with "powers"), magicians, wizards, and witches. It's very refreshing, even though continuity's toes are frequently stepped on. However, this is only a minor complaint, as the books easily distract you from all of that. My biggest complaint is that the books stop at places that don't neccesarily feel like they fit. I attribute that to two factors. 1: The books really are just one continous story, and not episodic in the slightest. 2: The series was originally to be a trilogy, but Del Rey split them into five books. This didn't affect my reading too much, as my family owns all of the books, but I did notice it regardless. In conclusion, The Belgariad is one of the best fantasy series ever written, and I would highly reccomend it to anyone brave enough to call themself a geek, anyone who acts like a geek but doesn't call themself that, and to all the expresso machines at Starbucks (Seriously, they need something to do. Do you know how boring it is being a cofee maker?).
The Belgariad
Wait, you mean to tell me that no one is suprised by this? No shock? No property damage suits? Fine, have it your way. For you layman who've never heard of The Belgariad or David Eddings, (how one can't is beyond me. You'd have to be from a different planet. Then again, it may be the other way around.) it's a story about a boy named Garrion who joins a quest to recover a mysterious mystical object, defeat monsters, and fufill prophecies. Yes, it is very generic, but, I prefer to let the book do the spoiling rather than me. Seriously, if you can't figure out what direction the books take after the first one, Pawn of Prophecy, than you have the IQ of a peice of gum. Before I jump into the review itself, I need to establish one thing: I will not be reviewing the books individually. My reasons for this will be explained later, but for now, you've been warned.
The plot is fairly good, if predictable, but that's part of the charm of the story. It makes no attempts to sway from its path, and is able to have fun with itself. That's one of the series main strengths: it doesn't take itself too seriously. Sure, it does have serious moments, but it does try to be fun. And it succeeds almost effortlessly. Silk in paticular is a ridiculously funny charecter. Its magic/sorcery/witchcraft/wizardry/aaugh! system is also unique, and one of the few series I've read where people bother to differentiate between sorcerers (the main people with "powers"), magicians, wizards, and witches. It's very refreshing, even though continuity's toes are frequently stepped on. However, this is only a minor complaint, as the books easily distract you from all of that. My biggest complaint is that the books stop at places that don't neccesarily feel like they fit. I attribute that to two factors. 1: The books really are just one continous story, and not episodic in the slightest. 2: The series was originally to be a trilogy, but Del Rey split them into five books. This didn't affect my reading too much, as my family owns all of the books, but I did notice it regardless. In conclusion, The Belgariad is one of the best fantasy series ever written, and I would highly reccomend it to anyone brave enough to call themself a geek, anyone who acts like a geek but doesn't call themself that, and to all the expresso machines at Starbucks (Seriously, they need something to do. Do you know how boring it is being a cofee maker?).
Friday, September 16, 2011
Movie Review #6-8
Okay, I've decided to mix things up a little.I'm sure my legion of readers (all three of them) are getting a little tired of me saying the critics are wrong, because anyone can think that. So this time, I'm going to agree with them. I'm tackling one of the biggest sci-fi trilogies of the 20th century. And no, it's not Star Wars, or The Matrix. Somehow, I've never seen Matrix. I'm sure I will eventually though. After all, what kind of geek would I be if I didn't? Anyways, for you Trekkies, Trekkers, and Niners who read my blog, no, it is not Star Trek 2-4. Now that we have all that settled, I will begin the review.
Back to the Future
Well, I think that pretty much says it all. I know many of you have already seen it, but I had to do it. Now, I tend look at them as one continous movie, but for reviewing it's easier to seperate them. But if you really want to know my ranking, of the movies, here it goes: I can't decide. All three are classics. And just to get this of my chest I saw a review of BTTF2 on imdb that said Christopher Lloyf ripped off Christopher Walken's performance in Click. That guy clearly is not a professional geek. The most obvious reason: BTTF2 came out in 1989, while Click came out in 2006! For those who need clarification, that means that PART 2 CAME OUT 17 YEARS BEFORE CLICK, THEREFORE CLICK DIDN'T EXIST YET! So that's for all you people out there who say that. Thank you all readers who sat through that rant. Now, I'll start reviewing.
Back to the Future is a story about 17-year-old Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox), who has befriended an eccentric inventor named Doctor Emmet L. Brown (Christopher Lloyd). The good doctor has just invented a time machine, (out of a DeLorean of course!) but the thing that opens the time warp, the flux capacitor requires 1.21 gigawatts (!) to function. So what does the Doc do? Rip off some Libyan terrorists of course! Anyways, the Libyans find out that they were ripped off, and kill Doc in front of Marty, who, in an attempt to escape the terrorists, ends up in 1955. Unfortunatley, the capacitor does not have enough power to take him back to the future. (Yes, I just name-dropped, and I will probably do it again.) While there, he accidently causes his mother to fall in love with him, instead of his father, thus threatening his very existance. Meanwhile, he formulates a plan with the '55 Doc to get him back in a week. So now he has to make his parents fall in love, try to get the Doc to listen to his warnings about his future death, and get back home. That is the plot of the first movie. The acting is superb. The fact that we're sad that Doc is dead ten minutes after we first saw him and later relieved to see his '55 self is a true testament to Lloyd's acting ability. And if acting is simply reacting, then Michael J. Fox has it nailed. He obviously knew what he was doing worked, and the fact that his performance in the movie was terriffic even though he had to film Family Ties at the same exact time is a testament to the quality of the actor. Thomas F. Wilson, Crispin Glover, and Lea Thompson are also great. I especially laughed when I found out Wilson was apparently one of the nicest people the other filmmakers said they had ever worked with. Anyways, the special effects are short, but sweet, even today. They are very realistic. Truely a classic of American cinema.
Back to The Future Part II
Now this is where things get intresting. Everyone agrees that the first one is one of the best films ever made, but the second one has a little more controversy. While it does have a lot of great sci-fi elements in it, it seemed to many people to actually be at least average. Personnally, I loved it, and there was a time when it was my favorite of the trilogy. The fact that it focuses on the sci-fi stuff does not turn me off at all. It wasn't exactly meant to have the same impact as the original, and I think people forgot that. Essentially what happens is that Marty, Doc Brown, and Jennifer (Marty's girlfriend) go to the future to stop Marty Jr. from participating in a robery and starting a chain of events that ruin the McFly family forever. One thing many noticed afterwards, is that Claudia Wells no longer protrayed Jennifer. Instead, it was Elizibeth Shue. Personally, I thought that Shue's reaction to the Doc talking about the future and the time machine was more believable than Well's. Anyways, after they stop that, Marty buys a sports almanac that tells the outcomes of every major sporting event to the end of the century, in an attempt to cheat at gambling. However, Doc finds out about his scheme, and throws the almanac in the trash. Meanwhile, Biff hears their conversation, and steals the time machine. He returns and Marty, Doc, Jennifer, and Einstein (who was there earlier) return to 1985. Once there, Marty and the Doc discover that Biff has taken over Hill Valley, and chaos and anarchy rule the streets. It is also established that the time circuits are malfunctioning, causing the destination time to to randomly change. Marty and the Doc discover that 2015 Biff stole the time machine, and went back in time to give himself Marty's almanac, thus stealing Marty's idea. However, since the DeLorean does not keep a record of all times visited, only where you're going, where you are, and where you last were. So, Marty must learn from Biff, who, coincidently, married Loraine after George McFly was murdered. (Intresting piece of trivia: George was dead in 1985-A because the filmmakers couldn't get Crispin Glover back. Personally, I think it gave the future more of an impact, because it showed just how bad that time period was) He asks him, and Biff tells him he recieved the book November 12, 1955 (coincidentally, the same day Marty left the timeperiod, and got back to the future.) However, Biff also reveals that his older self warned him that Marty or Doc would ask about the book, and to do whatever was neccessary to remove them. Biff then begins to shoot at Marty, and eventually traps him on the rooftop. There, he reveals he killed George McFly. (What a suprise, I think I'll have a heart attack and die from that suprise) Marty, at gunpoint, jumps off the building, but lands on the DeLorean, which can now fly (Did I forget to mention that? My bad.). Doc incapacitates Biff, (by hitting him with the car door, of all things) and our heroes travel back to the past. Once there, they must try to get the almanac from '55 Biff after 2015 Biff leaves, while avoiding contact with their past selves. (Ironically, for all Doc's warnings on this, he's the only one to actually be seen and talked to by his past self.) Eventually, they get the almanac and destroy it. However, the DeLorean is struck by lightning while turning at a speed of 88 mph which causes it to vanish into the unknown. Then, Marty receives a letter stating that Doc is alive and currently in the year 1885. Now, Marty must find the '55 Doc, and enlist his aid to rescue the '85 Doc, and return home.
Back to the Future Part III
Now, things get intresting. One noteworthy thing about this trilogy, is that each movie is a different genre from the last. The first one was a sci-fi comedy, Part 2 a sci-fi action-adventure movie, and the last, a full-blown Western. I always liked this one well enough, but I have found it's the one I rewatch the least. I like it, but I prefer rewatching the others. Anyway, the story picks up after the last movie. Doc fainted, and wakes up in his home, believing seeing Marty after he was sent back was a simple dream. He then sees Marty again, and discovers it wasn't a dream. Marty explains the situation. They read the letter, and discover that the Doc has been in 1885 for the past eight months. He has instructed Marty to retrieve and repair the Delorean, and to leave him in 1885. The Doc and Marty then go to find the DeLorean. It turns up buried under a graveyard, and they manage to retrieve it. While there, Marty discovers a grave stone that reads: Here lies Emmett L. Brown. Shot in the back by Buford Tannen over a matter of eighty dollars. Dedicated to his beloved Clara. Marty decides that since Doc dies only a mere week after he writes the letter, that he must go back and save him. Marty does so, but accidently damages the DeLorean, making it unable to be driven. They decide that they will have to wait till 8:00 Monday morning till they can hijack a locomotive, and push the DeLorean into the future. Doc also learns about Clara, and learns that she is the new schoolteacher that he volunteered to pick up from the train station. He decides not to meet her, in the intrest of perserving the timeline. Later, they see a runaway horsecab heading towards the ravine. Doc saves the passenger, but learns her name: Clara Clayton. He falls in love with her at first sight. During the course of the week, Doc and Clara continue to grow closer, Marty incurs the rath of Biff's ancestor, Buford Tannen, and eventually ends up challenging him to a one-on-one duel, to take place on Monday, at 9. Doc, noting that the fight was arranged because of Marty's "chicken" problem, tries to warn him that he needs to think more rationally. Eventually, complications arise, and Marty has to duel Tannen, or else he will kill Doc. Marty, beggining to realize his fault, tries to avoid killing Tannen. Tannen then shoots him, and Marty collapses. Buford walks over to his fallen body, and Marty pulls himself up. Tannen then begins a fistfight, attacking Marty's stomach. He reels back in pain, and Marty takes advantage of his suprise, and knocks him out, resulting in Tannen falling into a manure cart. Marty reveals that he mimicked something he saw in a Clint Eastwood movie: he used part of a stove as a shield. Tannen gets arrested, and Marty and the Doc catch the train. However, Clara catches on to the scheme, and follows them. Doc, having to save Clara from the collapsing locomotive, misses the DeLorean, and Marty goes back alone. Once he gets back, however, the DeLorean gets hit by a train, with Marty just barely escaping. He goes to check on Jennifer, and they see Needles, who challenges Marty to a street race. However, it was earliar established that this race will result in Marty hitting a Rolls-Royce, and his life spiraling into a catastrophe. Marty begins to shift gears, and when the light turns green, the cars take off. Needles wins, and the Rolls-Royce rounds the corner. However, Marty moved in reverse, deciding not to race him. Jennifer then discovers that the note she took back from the future has erased. They then go back to the sight of the DeLorean's wreck. While looking through it, they see the train corossing bars go down, though no train is there. Suddenly, a large steam locomotive appears out of nowhere, heavily altered. The door opens, and Doc runs out to greet Marty. He then introduces Clara, and their children: Jules and Verne. After letting Marty know that he managed to develop a steam-powered flux capacitor, and showing that he picked up Einstein, he activates the trains flying abilities, and travels away.
And that concludes the Back to the Future trilogy. An intresting fact about it is that it draws little attention to itself. Every one calls it a classic, but parodies of it are few and far between. However, it will always live on in the hearts of us all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make sure my parents meeting isn't disrupted. It's pretty heavy, but if I don't, there won't be much point in getting back to the future.
Back to the Future
Well, I think that pretty much says it all. I know many of you have already seen it, but I had to do it. Now, I tend look at them as one continous movie, but for reviewing it's easier to seperate them. But if you really want to know my ranking, of the movies, here it goes: I can't decide. All three are classics. And just to get this of my chest I saw a review of BTTF2 on imdb that said Christopher Lloyf ripped off Christopher Walken's performance in Click. That guy clearly is not a professional geek. The most obvious reason: BTTF2 came out in 1989, while Click came out in 2006! For those who need clarification, that means that PART 2 CAME OUT 17 YEARS BEFORE CLICK, THEREFORE CLICK DIDN'T EXIST YET! So that's for all you people out there who say that. Thank you all readers who sat through that rant. Now, I'll start reviewing.
Back to the Future is a story about 17-year-old Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox), who has befriended an eccentric inventor named Doctor Emmet L. Brown (Christopher Lloyd). The good doctor has just invented a time machine, (out of a DeLorean of course!) but the thing that opens the time warp, the flux capacitor requires 1.21 gigawatts (!) to function. So what does the Doc do? Rip off some Libyan terrorists of course! Anyways, the Libyans find out that they were ripped off, and kill Doc in front of Marty, who, in an attempt to escape the terrorists, ends up in 1955. Unfortunatley, the capacitor does not have enough power to take him back to the future. (Yes, I just name-dropped, and I will probably do it again.) While there, he accidently causes his mother to fall in love with him, instead of his father, thus threatening his very existance. Meanwhile, he formulates a plan with the '55 Doc to get him back in a week. So now he has to make his parents fall in love, try to get the Doc to listen to his warnings about his future death, and get back home. That is the plot of the first movie. The acting is superb. The fact that we're sad that Doc is dead ten minutes after we first saw him and later relieved to see his '55 self is a true testament to Lloyd's acting ability. And if acting is simply reacting, then Michael J. Fox has it nailed. He obviously knew what he was doing worked, and the fact that his performance in the movie was terriffic even though he had to film Family Ties at the same exact time is a testament to the quality of the actor. Thomas F. Wilson, Crispin Glover, and Lea Thompson are also great. I especially laughed when I found out Wilson was apparently one of the nicest people the other filmmakers said they had ever worked with. Anyways, the special effects are short, but sweet, even today. They are very realistic. Truely a classic of American cinema.
Back to The Future Part II
Now this is where things get intresting. Everyone agrees that the first one is one of the best films ever made, but the second one has a little more controversy. While it does have a lot of great sci-fi elements in it, it seemed to many people to actually be at least average. Personnally, I loved it, and there was a time when it was my favorite of the trilogy. The fact that it focuses on the sci-fi stuff does not turn me off at all. It wasn't exactly meant to have the same impact as the original, and I think people forgot that. Essentially what happens is that Marty, Doc Brown, and Jennifer (Marty's girlfriend) go to the future to stop Marty Jr. from participating in a robery and starting a chain of events that ruin the McFly family forever. One thing many noticed afterwards, is that Claudia Wells no longer protrayed Jennifer. Instead, it was Elizibeth Shue. Personally, I thought that Shue's reaction to the Doc talking about the future and the time machine was more believable than Well's. Anyways, after they stop that, Marty buys a sports almanac that tells the outcomes of every major sporting event to the end of the century, in an attempt to cheat at gambling. However, Doc finds out about his scheme, and throws the almanac in the trash. Meanwhile, Biff hears their conversation, and steals the time machine. He returns and Marty, Doc, Jennifer, and Einstein (who was there earlier) return to 1985. Once there, Marty and the Doc discover that Biff has taken over Hill Valley, and chaos and anarchy rule the streets. It is also established that the time circuits are malfunctioning, causing the destination time to to randomly change. Marty and the Doc discover that 2015 Biff stole the time machine, and went back in time to give himself Marty's almanac, thus stealing Marty's idea. However, since the DeLorean does not keep a record of all times visited, only where you're going, where you are, and where you last were. So, Marty must learn from Biff, who, coincidently, married Loraine after George McFly was murdered. (Intresting piece of trivia: George was dead in 1985-A because the filmmakers couldn't get Crispin Glover back. Personally, I think it gave the future more of an impact, because it showed just how bad that time period was) He asks him, and Biff tells him he recieved the book November 12, 1955 (coincidentally, the same day Marty left the timeperiod, and got back to the future.) However, Biff also reveals that his older self warned him that Marty or Doc would ask about the book, and to do whatever was neccessary to remove them. Biff then begins to shoot at Marty, and eventually traps him on the rooftop. There, he reveals he killed George McFly. (What a suprise, I think I'll have a heart attack and die from that suprise) Marty, at gunpoint, jumps off the building, but lands on the DeLorean, which can now fly (Did I forget to mention that? My bad.). Doc incapacitates Biff, (by hitting him with the car door, of all things) and our heroes travel back to the past. Once there, they must try to get the almanac from '55 Biff after 2015 Biff leaves, while avoiding contact with their past selves. (Ironically, for all Doc's warnings on this, he's the only one to actually be seen and talked to by his past self.) Eventually, they get the almanac and destroy it. However, the DeLorean is struck by lightning while turning at a speed of 88 mph which causes it to vanish into the unknown. Then, Marty receives a letter stating that Doc is alive and currently in the year 1885. Now, Marty must find the '55 Doc, and enlist his aid to rescue the '85 Doc, and return home.
Back to the Future Part III
Now, things get intresting. One noteworthy thing about this trilogy, is that each movie is a different genre from the last. The first one was a sci-fi comedy, Part 2 a sci-fi action-adventure movie, and the last, a full-blown Western. I always liked this one well enough, but I have found it's the one I rewatch the least. I like it, but I prefer rewatching the others. Anyway, the story picks up after the last movie. Doc fainted, and wakes up in his home, believing seeing Marty after he was sent back was a simple dream. He then sees Marty again, and discovers it wasn't a dream. Marty explains the situation. They read the letter, and discover that the Doc has been in 1885 for the past eight months. He has instructed Marty to retrieve and repair the Delorean, and to leave him in 1885. The Doc and Marty then go to find the DeLorean. It turns up buried under a graveyard, and they manage to retrieve it. While there, Marty discovers a grave stone that reads: Here lies Emmett L. Brown. Shot in the back by Buford Tannen over a matter of eighty dollars. Dedicated to his beloved Clara. Marty decides that since Doc dies only a mere week after he writes the letter, that he must go back and save him. Marty does so, but accidently damages the DeLorean, making it unable to be driven. They decide that they will have to wait till 8:00 Monday morning till they can hijack a locomotive, and push the DeLorean into the future. Doc also learns about Clara, and learns that she is the new schoolteacher that he volunteered to pick up from the train station. He decides not to meet her, in the intrest of perserving the timeline. Later, they see a runaway horsecab heading towards the ravine. Doc saves the passenger, but learns her name: Clara Clayton. He falls in love with her at first sight. During the course of the week, Doc and Clara continue to grow closer, Marty incurs the rath of Biff's ancestor, Buford Tannen, and eventually ends up challenging him to a one-on-one duel, to take place on Monday, at 9. Doc, noting that the fight was arranged because of Marty's "chicken" problem, tries to warn him that he needs to think more rationally. Eventually, complications arise, and Marty has to duel Tannen, or else he will kill Doc. Marty, beggining to realize his fault, tries to avoid killing Tannen. Tannen then shoots him, and Marty collapses. Buford walks over to his fallen body, and Marty pulls himself up. Tannen then begins a fistfight, attacking Marty's stomach. He reels back in pain, and Marty takes advantage of his suprise, and knocks him out, resulting in Tannen falling into a manure cart. Marty reveals that he mimicked something he saw in a Clint Eastwood movie: he used part of a stove as a shield. Tannen gets arrested, and Marty and the Doc catch the train. However, Clara catches on to the scheme, and follows them. Doc, having to save Clara from the collapsing locomotive, misses the DeLorean, and Marty goes back alone. Once he gets back, however, the DeLorean gets hit by a train, with Marty just barely escaping. He goes to check on Jennifer, and they see Needles, who challenges Marty to a street race. However, it was earliar established that this race will result in Marty hitting a Rolls-Royce, and his life spiraling into a catastrophe. Marty begins to shift gears, and when the light turns green, the cars take off. Needles wins, and the Rolls-Royce rounds the corner. However, Marty moved in reverse, deciding not to race him. Jennifer then discovers that the note she took back from the future has erased. They then go back to the sight of the DeLorean's wreck. While looking through it, they see the train corossing bars go down, though no train is there. Suddenly, a large steam locomotive appears out of nowhere, heavily altered. The door opens, and Doc runs out to greet Marty. He then introduces Clara, and their children: Jules and Verne. After letting Marty know that he managed to develop a steam-powered flux capacitor, and showing that he picked up Einstein, he activates the trains flying abilities, and travels away.
And that concludes the Back to the Future trilogy. An intresting fact about it is that it draws little attention to itself. Every one calls it a classic, but parodies of it are few and far between. However, it will always live on in the hearts of us all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make sure my parents meeting isn't disrupted. It's pretty heavy, but if I don't, there won't be much point in getting back to the future.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Movie Review #5
Now, I'm sure many of you can tell that I'm a Pixar fan after reading my review of Cars 2. And, I'm also sure you're tired of reading me saying "I don't care what critics say, this is a GOOD movie", since that's pretty much a summary of what I've said in almost all my reviews. Well the good news is, I'm not going to do that in THIS review. Now that that is settled, I will begin my review.
WALL-E
As many of my friends in Lotus Fleet (great Star Trek fleet, room for plenty of new members!) who've read my favorite Pixar movie poll can tell you, this movie is not my cup of tea. While many critics say it is one of Pixar's greatest acheivments, I must disagree. To begin with, the story is not all that engaging. We start seeing Wall-E cleaning up garbage. Remember all those funny scenes we saw in the trailers? Well, that pretty much is everything they have in this scene. Then EVE comes in. Wall-E meets her, shows her a plant he found, and she shuts down. What follows is a boring montage showing Wall-E despretly taking care of her and falling in love with her. While some may find this whole first act charming, I found it dull. Don't hate me for this, but I have a hard time caring about Wall-E. My reason is this: I can't relate to him. Sure he's inquisitive. Sure he has emotions. But the truth is, with a limited speech ability, and no real facial expression beyond 'normal' and 'eyes up', it's hard for me to connect with him, therefore it's hard for me to care about him. And the first act is just to slow. To my readers who have seen Star Trek: The Motion Picture, it's like that, only slower. And honestly, the only part of it that I fought pushed it in TMP was the second act. The rest of it I was engaged. And while Wall-E may pick up after the first act, it still never fully recovers. Seeing the fate of the human race in the furure is intresting and all, but it still didn't connect with me. And I'm going to get this out of the way right now, I know many people will say Cars was slow, but the truth is, it was meant to be, and you got so engaged with the charecters, you just didn't care. At least I didn't. But with Wall-E I've no connection to the charecters, therefore I'm left wondering when the movie will end. Anyways, EVE and Wal-E make it to the spaceship where they encounter resistance to bringing the plant to the captain. Eventually they discover that the ships robotic pilot itself is under orders from the previous ruler of Earth not to let anyone back for fear that Earth was permanently uninhabitable. While I like this twist, and great protrayal of a villian in an all-ages movie, it's just to late to save it. In the end, the ship lands and everything's hunky-dorry. However, the movie is not. The visuals are standard Pixar fair, which is to say, they're phenomanal. But awe-inspiring imagry cannot take away the films mediocraty. Maybe I'm just weird, (well I actually am, but that's beside the point.) but I can't care about what happens to the charecters. I can wacth the scene whare Wall-E almost dies without feeling the slightest emotion because a) this is a kids movie, therefore his survival is a given, and b) I just don't care. I know Pixar tried, but this is their only movie where the chareters don't connect to me, and make me care about them, mainly because most of them can't protray their emotions in ways I understand, if at all. Even in Cars 2 I felt sorry for Mater when he realizes that every one looks down on him, mainly because I go through almost the exact same thing. Therefore, I relate. I 'm sorry if this review dragged on, but I had to make my point. Bottom Line: While this may be a fine movie for certain people, it's just not for me. I like pretty much every Pixar movie (the only one Ican't say for sure is A Bug's Life, because I last saw that when I was six, therefore I don't remember a whole lot about it), but Wall-E just doesn't do it for me. To me, Wall-E is Pixar's biggest failure, and most overrated film.
WALL-E
As many of my friends in Lotus Fleet (great Star Trek fleet, room for plenty of new members!) who've read my favorite Pixar movie poll can tell you, this movie is not my cup of tea. While many critics say it is one of Pixar's greatest acheivments, I must disagree. To begin with, the story is not all that engaging. We start seeing Wall-E cleaning up garbage. Remember all those funny scenes we saw in the trailers? Well, that pretty much is everything they have in this scene. Then EVE comes in. Wall-E meets her, shows her a plant he found, and she shuts down. What follows is a boring montage showing Wall-E despretly taking care of her and falling in love with her. While some may find this whole first act charming, I found it dull. Don't hate me for this, but I have a hard time caring about Wall-E. My reason is this: I can't relate to him. Sure he's inquisitive. Sure he has emotions. But the truth is, with a limited speech ability, and no real facial expression beyond 'normal' and 'eyes up', it's hard for me to connect with him, therefore it's hard for me to care about him. And the first act is just to slow. To my readers who have seen Star Trek: The Motion Picture, it's like that, only slower. And honestly, the only part of it that I fought pushed it in TMP was the second act. The rest of it I was engaged. And while Wall-E may pick up after the first act, it still never fully recovers. Seeing the fate of the human race in the furure is intresting and all, but it still didn't connect with me. And I'm going to get this out of the way right now, I know many people will say Cars was slow, but the truth is, it was meant to be, and you got so engaged with the charecters, you just didn't care. At least I didn't. But with Wall-E I've no connection to the charecters, therefore I'm left wondering when the movie will end. Anyways, EVE and Wal-E make it to the spaceship where they encounter resistance to bringing the plant to the captain. Eventually they discover that the ships robotic pilot itself is under orders from the previous ruler of Earth not to let anyone back for fear that Earth was permanently uninhabitable. While I like this twist, and great protrayal of a villian in an all-ages movie, it's just to late to save it. In the end, the ship lands and everything's hunky-dorry. However, the movie is not. The visuals are standard Pixar fair, which is to say, they're phenomanal. But awe-inspiring imagry cannot take away the films mediocraty. Maybe I'm just weird, (well I actually am, but that's beside the point.) but I can't care about what happens to the charecters. I can wacth the scene whare Wall-E almost dies without feeling the slightest emotion because a) this is a kids movie, therefore his survival is a given, and b) I just don't care. I know Pixar tried, but this is their only movie where the chareters don't connect to me, and make me care about them, mainly because most of them can't protray their emotions in ways I understand, if at all. Even in Cars 2 I felt sorry for Mater when he realizes that every one looks down on him, mainly because I go through almost the exact same thing. Therefore, I relate. I 'm sorry if this review dragged on, but I had to make my point. Bottom Line: While this may be a fine movie for certain people, it's just not for me. I like pretty much every Pixar movie (the only one Ican't say for sure is A Bug's Life, because I last saw that when I was six, therefore I don't remember a whole lot about it), but Wall-E just doesn't do it for me. To me, Wall-E is Pixar's biggest failure, and most overrated film.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Game Review #1
Well, I decided I had to review a game eventually, it just took forever to figure out which one. I thought about doing ME or ME2, but decided that all I'd be doing is echoing the critics. You want my review of them anyway? Buy them now. There, I'm done. That was easy. Now on to the full-length review.
Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions
What kind of geek would I be if I didn't play comic book video games? Anyways, I'm going to start by getting something big off my chest. A lot of people, (or at least very vocale people on IGN) are bashing the game because it has no open-world. My response: SUCK IT UP! Not every great Spider-Man game has to have open world! GET A GRIP! There. I'm done. Now to move on:
SM: SD is about four Spider-Men working together to find the fragments of the Tablet of Order and Chaos and reassemble it before reality as they know it is destroyed. However, there are complications as many of the various villians of the realities find the fragments, and discover that they can give them new, frightening, and powerfull abilities. Therefore, the Spider-Men must defeat them in order to regain the fragments. But, what happens when the heroes fail to realise one of their most deadly adversaries knows about the Tablet, and knows that they are collecting pieces of it? And if one fragment gives the enemies new abilities, what wolud happen if one got hold of the entire Tablet? Thus the story goes. It admitttedly isn't much, but I think you're meant to focus on the story within the levels, rather then the one for the overall game. But they did not hesitate in varying up what new powers the villians were given. Kraven gets lightning-fast speed, Scorpion 2099 gets the ability to create little miny forms of himself, (gross, I know) and Hammerhead Noir has his guns fused to his arms. The four Spider-Man you play as are Amazing (mainstream Spidey), Ultimate (teenage Spidey in current times), Noir (from the 1930's) and 2099 (from the future). Each has their own reality, gameplay style, art direction, and villians. Amazing uses his agility and powerful web-based attacks, Ultimate dons the Venom suit, turning him into a one-man army who can turn his suit into tendrils that whip the enemies, 2099, who is more of a hand-to-hand fighter, and Noir relies on stealth, due to his lack of stamina. Ultimate also recieves a Rage Mode, which adds to his already considerble attack power, and 2099 has Accelerated Vision, which allows him to slow down time. Each Spider-Man does play diffrently, but without feeling gimicky. The differences between them feel very natural. The graphics are great, with each world looking noticably different from the others. Amazing looks like a pencil and ink comic, Ultimate is cel-shaded, 2099 is filled with neon and bright colors, and Noir has a grainy, black-and-white look. Each has anincredible design, and every location feels different from the last. Weather you're fighting on an oil rig as Ultimate, swinging through 2099's Nueva York, or traversing the jungle as Amazing, each location is very impressive. So overall, it was a great game, especially for Spider-Man fans, even without open-world, which I personally think it was better without. My advice is that all Marvel fans should at least rent it. It truely was the most Amazing, Spectacular, Sensational Spider-Man game I've ever played. And yes, the joke in that last sentence was intentional. And now, Stan Lee and I proudly say: Excelsior!
Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions
What kind of geek would I be if I didn't play comic book video games? Anyways, I'm going to start by getting something big off my chest. A lot of people, (or at least very vocale people on IGN) are bashing the game because it has no open-world. My response: SUCK IT UP! Not every great Spider-Man game has to have open world! GET A GRIP! There. I'm done. Now to move on:
SM: SD is about four Spider-Men working together to find the fragments of the Tablet of Order and Chaos and reassemble it before reality as they know it is destroyed. However, there are complications as many of the various villians of the realities find the fragments, and discover that they can give them new, frightening, and powerfull abilities. Therefore, the Spider-Men must defeat them in order to regain the fragments. But, what happens when the heroes fail to realise one of their most deadly adversaries knows about the Tablet, and knows that they are collecting pieces of it? And if one fragment gives the enemies new abilities, what wolud happen if one got hold of the entire Tablet? Thus the story goes. It admitttedly isn't much, but I think you're meant to focus on the story within the levels, rather then the one for the overall game. But they did not hesitate in varying up what new powers the villians were given. Kraven gets lightning-fast speed, Scorpion 2099 gets the ability to create little miny forms of himself, (gross, I know) and Hammerhead Noir has his guns fused to his arms. The four Spider-Man you play as are Amazing (mainstream Spidey), Ultimate (teenage Spidey in current times), Noir (from the 1930's) and 2099 (from the future). Each has their own reality, gameplay style, art direction, and villians. Amazing uses his agility and powerful web-based attacks, Ultimate dons the Venom suit, turning him into a one-man army who can turn his suit into tendrils that whip the enemies, 2099, who is more of a hand-to-hand fighter, and Noir relies on stealth, due to his lack of stamina. Ultimate also recieves a Rage Mode, which adds to his already considerble attack power, and 2099 has Accelerated Vision, which allows him to slow down time. Each Spider-Man does play diffrently, but without feeling gimicky. The differences between them feel very natural. The graphics are great, with each world looking noticably different from the others. Amazing looks like a pencil and ink comic, Ultimate is cel-shaded, 2099 is filled with neon and bright colors, and Noir has a grainy, black-and-white look. Each has anincredible design, and every location feels different from the last. Weather you're fighting on an oil rig as Ultimate, swinging through 2099's Nueva York, or traversing the jungle as Amazing, each location is very impressive. So overall, it was a great game, especially for Spider-Man fans, even without open-world, which I personally think it was better without. My advice is that all Marvel fans should at least rent it. It truely was the most Amazing, Spectacular, Sensational Spider-Man game I've ever played. And yes, the joke in that last sentence was intentional. And now, Stan Lee and I proudly say: Excelsior!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Movie Review #3+4
Well, I'm sure you all have heard at least something about Transformers: Dark of the Moon. And as I'm pretty sure you all have guessed, I'm a Transfoemers fan. So naturally, you'd eexpect me to see it and review it here. Well, I havn't. Yep, I was just joking in those last parts. Except for the part about being a Transformers fan. I'm not going to review DOTM yet, if I see it at all. Michael Bay really dissapointed me with ROTF, the second-worst movie I've ever seen (the first being Red Zone Cuba. Not even MST3K could make it bearable.). Any ways, in a historic first, today I'm reviewing TWO movies! This is the part where the audiance gasps in suprise. Anyways, I'm reviewing two movies I've seen recently. To give a hint on what those are, the first one has been marketed the heck out of, and the second one is a movie with a very odd name. Both are linked to Aston Martins. Now, I will begin.
Cars 2
Yep, I saw it. While I did have fears going into the theater that this would be standerd action movie and that it would be just another sequel that couldn't live up to its predecessor, I was pleasently suprised seeing it. It had everything one would expect from a Pixar movie: Comedy, some Action, Breathtaking visuals, a great plot, and a heart. The movie begins with British Agent Finn McMissile (voiceded by Michael Caine, and an Aston Martin of course. :) Now you know how this one links.) infiltrating an oil rig. After ineivitably being discovered, a thrilling action sequence ensues, with Finn presumed dead, but in reality he just turned into a submersible car (They really enjoyed the 007 references here.) and let four tires out of his trunk to throw them off. Meanwhile Lightning McQueen prepares to participate in the first World Grand Prix, and brings Mater along to their first stop, Tokyo. There, Mater is mistaken for an American CIA agent by Finn and assistant in the Tokyo devision Holly Shiftwell. What happens after that? Watch the movie to find out. I'm not going to tell you everything. :) Suffice to say, Mater learns that almost every one he knows thinks he's an idiot, and has to find a way to deal with that, while saving the cars in the race. One thing I'll say is, if you took away the more fantastical parts of the villians plot, it would actually be a realistic scheme. The villians here are not out to take over the world. They just want respect, and millions of dollars. Anyways, onto the next movie.
Octopussy
Ah, my first James Bond movie in years. I havn't seen one since I was four, I think. Anyways I can now understand what's going on. I saw a review of this on youtube where a guy said he didn't like the humour in it. I don't know why. Maybe he just prefers darker stories. Anyways, I liked this movie, and feel it is very underrated. Just because 007 dresses like a clown on one scene dosn't mean it's bad. It was a fun experiance. The story starts with Agent 009 dying (literally) to get a strange jeweled egg to a British ambassador. It's discovered to be a Faberge egg, and Bond ends upp in a mystery involving Jewel Theives, palaces surronded by crocodiles, Bond girls (of course), and an atomic bomb. It all makes for a very fun movie, and a perfect example of James Bond films. I thouroghly enjoyed it.
Well that concludes my movie reviews for this post. I'm your host, James Picard. Thank you for listening (Orchestral music used in fantasy movies starts playing.).
Cars 2
Yep, I saw it. While I did have fears going into the theater that this would be standerd action movie and that it would be just another sequel that couldn't live up to its predecessor, I was pleasently suprised seeing it. It had everything one would expect from a Pixar movie: Comedy, some Action, Breathtaking visuals, a great plot, and a heart. The movie begins with British Agent Finn McMissile (voiceded by Michael Caine, and an Aston Martin of course. :) Now you know how this one links.) infiltrating an oil rig. After ineivitably being discovered, a thrilling action sequence ensues, with Finn presumed dead, but in reality he just turned into a submersible car (They really enjoyed the 007 references here.) and let four tires out of his trunk to throw them off. Meanwhile Lightning McQueen prepares to participate in the first World Grand Prix, and brings Mater along to their first stop, Tokyo. There, Mater is mistaken for an American CIA agent by Finn and assistant in the Tokyo devision Holly Shiftwell. What happens after that? Watch the movie to find out. I'm not going to tell you everything. :) Suffice to say, Mater learns that almost every one he knows thinks he's an idiot, and has to find a way to deal with that, while saving the cars in the race. One thing I'll say is, if you took away the more fantastical parts of the villians plot, it would actually be a realistic scheme. The villians here are not out to take over the world. They just want respect, and millions of dollars. Anyways, onto the next movie.
Octopussy
Ah, my first James Bond movie in years. I havn't seen one since I was four, I think. Anyways I can now understand what's going on. I saw a review of this on youtube where a guy said he didn't like the humour in it. I don't know why. Maybe he just prefers darker stories. Anyways, I liked this movie, and feel it is very underrated. Just because 007 dresses like a clown on one scene dosn't mean it's bad. It was a fun experiance. The story starts with Agent 009 dying (literally) to get a strange jeweled egg to a British ambassador. It's discovered to be a Faberge egg, and Bond ends upp in a mystery involving Jewel Theives, palaces surronded by crocodiles, Bond girls (of course), and an atomic bomb. It all makes for a very fun movie, and a perfect example of James Bond films. I thouroghly enjoyed it.
Well that concludes my movie reviews for this post. I'm your host, James Picard. Thank you for listening (Orchestral music used in fantasy movies starts playing.).
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