That's right, I'm taking a break from the usual review posts, as those are not going to be EVERYTHING I do, just some thing I do fairly often, because it gives me a reason to have a blog. I'm not kidding, the only interesting things that happen un my life are covered by my Mom's blog. Don't believe me? Read it. You'd be surprised how interesting our lives can get. So, moving on, this is my ranking of all 11 Star Trek movies. From the race to stop V'Ger, to the Battle of Earth, I'll be ranking them all, from least favorite to most. So let's start with number 11!
#11: Star Trek
This is the part where everyone but Nel and mama Jae go "What?! How can he do that? How can he rank such a great movie so low?" My answer would be "Like that." Anyways, JJTrek is at the bottom because of all the Star Trek movies, it's the one that feels the least like Star Trek. Are the acting and crew relations there? Yeah, for the most part. Are the special effects good? Y. E. S. Is the plot as pourous as a sponge? Absolutely. Let's start with my biggest peeve: black hole time portals. Really, black holes are time portals. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, since sci-fi does this all the time ("Reduce the polarity of the neutron flow!" comes to mind), except for the fact that Star Trek has NEVER VIOLATED REAL SCIENCE BEFORE! As far as I know. Whenever they needed some thing done, they invented there own mineral, or ray, or whatever. But then they go and make black holes time portals. And then add the fact that they're not even consistint on whether it is one or isn't. Seriously, FIGURE IT OUT! This has the stench of Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the duo who wrote the totally terriffic (hint: NOT) film, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, most likely because they DID write it. Then there's the action scenes. They were too Star Wars-esque. And I;m not saying that there's anything wrong with those. I actually rather enjoy Star Wars. But I watch a Star Trek movie to see Star Trek, not current day, poorly written sci-fi trying to pretend to be Star Trek with Star Wars action scenes. And then there's Nero. Not only was he played poorly (which I partially attribute to the script), but HOW DUMB COULD HE BE?! Really, how stupid can he be to not think to save his homeworld BEFORE going on a clearly suicidal attack on core Federation worlds. Really, even if he did destroy Earth, it's on;y a matter of time before he got defeated anyways. Even a madman would've considered actually saving Romulus from the 'immediate' danger first. And finally, why the heck did Spock Prime bring THAT much Red Matter? How much did the Romulon star need? Oh wait, he DID stop it. So he had extra because... Yeah, it's an Orci and Kurtzman story all right. And while they obviously can write summer blockbusters, it's also obvious they can't write genuine Star Trek.
#10: The Final Frontier
Yes, the traditional 'FF at the bottom of the list' trope. But here's the kicker: I actually liked this movie. It's not perfect, though it's obviously directed by Shatner, but it still had some decent parts. But Nel, I'm really sorry, but I have to say this: the scene where Uhura does her strip thing was just disturbing. She's a beautiful women, but she's too classy to strip. Anyways, I liked the idea behind the scene where Kirk says he needs his pain because it defines him. It may not have been acted as smoothly as it could've been, but it was still an interesting concept. Overall, it was okay, but it could've been a LOT better.
#9: The Motion Picture
Also known as The Slow-Motion Picture, this movie would've been pretty good if it weren't so darn long. It had an interesting sci-fi concept, a brand-new Enterprise, the same crew we came to know and love, and some good FX for the time, I'm guessing. Is they had just managed to get past the length, it would've been a really good film.
#8: Generations
While it was an okay movie, I'll always view it a little negatively for the destruction of the Enterprise-D. It wasn't just the fact that it was destroyed simply for the sake of making a new one for the next film, it was the fact that the Klingons simply got a few lucky shots in that killed it. Seriously, no one thought to check Geordi's visor? With the amount of times he's been kidnapped, you'd think this would be standard procedure by now. So the ship gets blown up. You know, if you're gonna kill off the Enterprise, at least make its death meaningfull, like in Star Trek 3. Here, it meant nothing. It just happened. Kirk's death, I'm surprisingly okay with. I honestly can't think of any way they could kill Kirk off that WOULDN'T tick off the Trekkie community. If I'm wrong, feel free to post the method, below, I'd like to see it. Anyways, it was an alright movie, better than the last three, but still not quite what it could've been.
#7: Innsurrection
Actually, this is the first Star Trek movie I ever saw, and it did convince me to start watching. So why did I rate it so low? Well, while I will always hold some nostalgia for it, I just don't think it was as good as it could've been. I do like the fact that Picard's fighting to preserve the Federation's philosophy, bu it's a pretty average movie. It's not terriffic, it's not horrible. It just is.
#6: The Undiscovered Country
Kind of ironic that Star Trek 6 ranks #6, but I digress. The movie was pretty darn good. I still have yet to forget the antigrav blood scene, which left me disgusted, shocked, and just a little bit awed by the audacity to put that in a movie. Overall, it was pretty good, and it's nice to see Kirk come to terms with the Klingons after the death of his son. A pretty decent movie through and through.
#5: The Voyage Home
If The Search For Spock was the answer to how you make a film after The Wrath of Khan. then The Voyage Home was the answer to how you make a movie after having made both of those: yopu make a light-hearted comedy. And it worked. My favorite part was the "nuclear wessals". That was priceless. So yes, it was a pretty good movie.
#4: Nemesis
I know, most people wouldn't have it anywhere near this high. I'll be honest, it is insanely underated. What most people fail to understand about this movie is that it's very esscence is a story of nature vs. nurture. Had Picard lived Shinzon's life, would he be doing the same thing? Had Shinzon lived Picard's life, would he act the same? It's an interesting debate, one that makes us question a hero we've known and loved for years. Too many people fail to see that. Does it have its flaws? Yes. It's a little too action-heavy, and the Reman 'mind-violation' scene was somewhat disturbing. But then you get Data's sacrifice at the end. And don't pull the whole, "We have B-4, he could come back!" argument on me. Data wouldn't assert his memories over b-4, he'd be essentially killing B-4. It's unethical. Data would not commit an action like that. He's gone for good, at least in my book.
#3: The Search for Spock
Widely regarded as the best odd-numbered Star Trek movie (can't believe it took me till now to finaly reference that cliche), and rightfully so, Star Trek 3 is a great movie. It really demonstrates Roddenberry's vision of people in the future really caring about one another, so much so that they'd be willing to sacrifice their carees, their ship, and their lives, all for the sake of saving their friends. To get the ending where Spock says "Jim. Your name is Jim." after the ending of Star Trek 2 is a great reward, and it really reminds you how easy it is to get attached to these characters. It is, in a way, the film that really shows Roddenberry's ultimate vision for humanity. And it's a vision that mankind needs to acheive.
#2: The Wrath of Khan
Yep, now I've really gone and done it. I rated JJTrek at the bottom, Nemesis pretty high, and WOK #2?! You're probably wondering what kind of Trekkie I am. Anyways, as many have already said, WOK is an amazing movie. It's so universal, that I'm not going to bother elaborating. You can look up other reviews if you want to know what's so good about it, assuming you're one of three people who hasn't seen it. And now, for the number 1 film in all of Star Trek, drumbroll please! (Dun, dun-dun-dun-dun!)
#1: First Contact
That's right, I just did that. I rated FC above WOK. Anyways, FC is an incredible movie. It's got Picard at one of his most complex points, a great villian, an interesting subplot, and lots of great sci-fi drama. Really, it's a perfect film for new inductees or seasoned veterans. It simply is the best of all the Star Trek films, hands down. Any resistance is futile. (Couldn't help myself.)
So that's my ranking. Is it conventional? Somewhat yes, somewhat no. Is it geeky? Absolutely. Is it likely to raise outrage in the geek community? That depends on how many people read my blog. But anyways, that's what my thoughts were, and no one but me can change them. Ensign, set a course for Rigel IV. Engage.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
TV Show Review #1
That's right everyone, in another first, I'm reviewing a TV Show! So I'm sure what you're asking yourself is "Why am I reading a blog by a geeky teenager who thinks he's incredibly funny but isn't at all?" That question, I can't really answer. But I can answer the question on why I chose to review a TV show: I wanted to try something new. So this time I'm reviewing a classic show that is beloved by cult members everywhere.
Beast Wars: Transformers
Never heard of it? Then you are clearly not a geek. I shun you for coming here without being a geek. Not really, but if you're a geek, then odds are you know Beast Wars (or "Beasties" as the Canadians called it [Don't ask]) is the best Transformers show there is., And no, I don't care about all you nostalgics saying the original cartoon was better, this show had CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and PLOT. Can you claim that? No? Then stop complaining and read the darn review.
Anyways, the backstory of Beast Wars is that the Autobots did manage to eventually defeat the Decepticons, and semi-unify Cybertron. Eventually, both sides underwent a process known as the Great Upgrade, through which all of them shrank to human size, the Autobots became Maximals, and the Decepticons became Predacons. Yes, I know that's the name of a combiner group from the old show, but moving on! The Predacons are treated like second-class citizens (so much for the Autobots being accepting and friendly), and some are tired of this. The few five who bother to take a stand unite under a Predacon named Megatron. Yes, it's cheesy, but he actually chose this name, instead of just having it like his G1 counterpart did. Anyways, they steal a sacred item (the Golden Disk, and no, there is no chocalate inside), a spaceship (apropriatly named the Darksyde [subtle, I know]), and make for quardinets leading to a massive Energon deposit on a planet. The only ship able to respond to their escape in time is an exploration cruiser, the Axalon. They chase their quarry through a transwarp portal, and after a fight sequence, both ships crash on the planet below. Neither side is sure where or when this planet is, due to the fact that many of the readings they get were unexpected. They discover that the planet has so much Energon, it will damage their systems if they have sustained exposure to it. To counter this problem, they adopt semi-organic form based off of animals, and proceed to fight each other. One of the Oredacons defects, making the sides even, and the Beast Wars begin! Admittedly, it's not the greatest opening, but it sets up the story well enough. It gets more interesting when they discover that a strange alien race has plans for the planet, and they did not involve all-out robotic warfare. Eventually the planet is revealed to be none other than prehistoric Earth, which means they're fighting at the time when Optimus and the others aboard the Ark are in stasis-lock, which is near-death for Transformers. This means that if Megatron finds the Ark, then, well, you get the idea. Time flux! So that's Beast Wars. It's not Shakesphere, but it works, and some of the writing can be genuinly amazing. The most often cited example of this is Code of Hero. I won't lie, I agree completely with the sentament there. That episode was amazing, and a fitting farewell to a beloved character. And if you remember back to my review of Survivor's Quest, (remember, the Timothy Zahn book that didn't feel like it was written by Timothy Zahn) you'll know that the great Simon Furman wrote the final episode, and man did it show. Characters died (he's very bloodthirsty), stands against evil were made, last-ditch attempts to stop the villians were successful, and overall, it ended the show on a great note. And then, they made Beast Machines (shudders). In one sentence, don't watch it unless you're a die-hard fan. That's the only way you'll like it. But anyways, Beast Wars was a teriffic show that deserves a lot more attention then it gets. Sure the CGI is dated, (especially Season 1) and yeah, they made some mistakes early on, but it was still a great show, and definetly the best of all Transformers shows. I still don't know why only a relativly small number have seen this show, because for a children's cartoon, it's not only got a lot of adult themes in it, it's just plain brilliant. Check it out on Netflix if you have it, but be warned that there streaming is currently missing Season 3. We'll work on correcting that. And once it finally is, things will be just Prime.
Beast Wars: Transformers
Never heard of it? Then you are clearly not a geek. I shun you for coming here without being a geek. Not really, but if you're a geek, then odds are you know Beast Wars (or "Beasties" as the Canadians called it [Don't ask]) is the best Transformers show there is., And no, I don't care about all you nostalgics saying the original cartoon was better, this show had CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and PLOT. Can you claim that? No? Then stop complaining and read the darn review.
Anyways, the backstory of Beast Wars is that the Autobots did manage to eventually defeat the Decepticons, and semi-unify Cybertron. Eventually, both sides underwent a process known as the Great Upgrade, through which all of them shrank to human size, the Autobots became Maximals, and the Decepticons became Predacons. Yes, I know that's the name of a combiner group from the old show, but moving on! The Predacons are treated like second-class citizens (so much for the Autobots being accepting and friendly), and some are tired of this. The few five who bother to take a stand unite under a Predacon named Megatron. Yes, it's cheesy, but he actually chose this name, instead of just having it like his G1 counterpart did. Anyways, they steal a sacred item (the Golden Disk, and no, there is no chocalate inside), a spaceship (apropriatly named the Darksyde [subtle, I know]), and make for quardinets leading to a massive Energon deposit on a planet. The only ship able to respond to their escape in time is an exploration cruiser, the Axalon. They chase their quarry through a transwarp portal, and after a fight sequence, both ships crash on the planet below. Neither side is sure where or when this planet is, due to the fact that many of the readings they get were unexpected. They discover that the planet has so much Energon, it will damage their systems if they have sustained exposure to it. To counter this problem, they adopt semi-organic form based off of animals, and proceed to fight each other. One of the Oredacons defects, making the sides even, and the Beast Wars begin! Admittedly, it's not the greatest opening, but it sets up the story well enough. It gets more interesting when they discover that a strange alien race has plans for the planet, and they did not involve all-out robotic warfare. Eventually the planet is revealed to be none other than prehistoric Earth, which means they're fighting at the time when Optimus and the others aboard the Ark are in stasis-lock, which is near-death for Transformers. This means that if Megatron finds the Ark, then, well, you get the idea. Time flux! So that's Beast Wars. It's not Shakesphere, but it works, and some of the writing can be genuinly amazing. The most often cited example of this is Code of Hero. I won't lie, I agree completely with the sentament there. That episode was amazing, and a fitting farewell to a beloved character. And if you remember back to my review of Survivor's Quest, (remember, the Timothy Zahn book that didn't feel like it was written by Timothy Zahn) you'll know that the great Simon Furman wrote the final episode, and man did it show. Characters died (he's very bloodthirsty), stands against evil were made, last-ditch attempts to stop the villians were successful, and overall, it ended the show on a great note. And then, they made Beast Machines (shudders). In one sentence, don't watch it unless you're a die-hard fan. That's the only way you'll like it. But anyways, Beast Wars was a teriffic show that deserves a lot more attention then it gets. Sure the CGI is dated, (especially Season 1) and yeah, they made some mistakes early on, but it was still a great show, and definetly the best of all Transformers shows. I still don't know why only a relativly small number have seen this show, because for a children's cartoon, it's not only got a lot of adult themes in it, it's just plain brilliant. Check it out on Netflix if you have it, but be warned that there streaming is currently missing Season 3. We'll work on correcting that. And once it finally is, things will be just Prime.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Movie Review #11
Ladies and Gentlereaders, we have reached a historic occasion: I have now published more than ten movie reviews! So, here we are, review #11, and the question on everyone's lips is: "Will The Dark Knight Rises be as good as its predecessor?". However, that is NOT the question I've come to answer. Instead, I'm giving a bit of a late answer to "Can Marvel pull off an Avengers movie?" That's right folks, today I'm reviewing the smash-hit (box-office at least) film, The Avengers!
The Avengers
Now, anyone who stayed for the credits of "Captain America: The First Avenger" saw the clip where Nick Fury approaches Cap with a mission that will apparently involve saving the world. "The Avengers" expands on that, and let's just say Fury does not lie about that subject. Our story starts at a S.H.E.I.L.D. base where the Tesseract (a.k.a. Cosmic Cube for you Marvel buffs out there) has activated, but no one has done anything that would cause this. Clint Barton, a.k.a. "Hawkeye" notes that since the Tesseract acts like a doorway, the change may not have been caused at their end of the door. Then a portal opens, and who should pop out but Loki! Evidently he's been busy, as he is trying to lead an alien army through to take over Earth. He proceeds to take over the minds of several people, including Barton and a physicist friend of Thor's. The unstable portal then collapses, and the S.H.E.I.L.D. base is leveled, but not before an action scene that results in the cube getting snatched by Loki and minions. Fury decides that the only way to stop him is to form a response team to find and retreive the Cube. So, he pulls together all the superheroes we've seen in the past movies (minus Thor, S.H.E.I.L.D. doesn't have a means of interdimensional communication. Yet.) to stop Loki's plan. They manage to find him, and while Hawkeye acquires a stabilizing agent for the portal, Cap and Loki do battle, and they are evntually joined by Iron Man. Amazingly, they manage to capture him and after a breif spring and duel with Thor, they head back to the Hellicarrier, and begin tracking the Cube, with help form Bruce Banner, a.k.a. "Hulk". Why is he here? Because the Cube emits small traces of Gamma Radiation of course! They need someone who is able to track it, so they call Banner. I haven't mentioned this yet, but Edward Norton, who played Banner in "The Incredible Hulk", does not return for this movie, and the role of Bruce goes to Mark Ruffalo (who's from Kenosha, Wisconsin, my hometown! [At least, that's what I call it. When you live in a place for ten years, it starts to feel like home. Go figure.]). Don't worry, no one else is replaced. Even Clark Gregg shows up again. Anyways, they search for the Cube, and it's evident that these people may not be the best team there is. Arguments frequently break out, and Loki sits in his cell, waiting for the inevitable clash. This happens when Hawkeye attacks the Hellicarrier, blowing up a huge section of the behemoth with an explosive arrow. S.H.E.I.L.D. tech is hardcore. This injures Banner, unleashing the Hulk. Hawkeye and crew take the prison area, free Loki, and easily trick Thor into the same cage Loki was in, which happens to be suspended above a giant airlock. Thor's cage is released (Spoilers: he survives), Hulk is knocked off by the Black Widow, who also frees Hawkeye, Shellhead (Tony for you laymen) reactivates the engines, and the bad guys escape. The tracking system is also destroyed, but since Tony is a "genuis billionaire playboy phillanthropist", he figures out that Loki's divaness means he wants to show the world just how beaten they are by moving the portal device to the newly commisioned Stark Tower. The heroes regroup in NYC, and Loki opens the portal. However, with The Avengers finally assembled (pun fully inteneded), can he ultimatly win? (Spoilers: He can't)
So that's the plot of the movie. It's not neccessarily big, but with a movie like this, a somewhat thin plot is needed to develop the characters. And developed they are. Each has their own distinct mannerisms and quirks, and all are played by great actors. RDJ, however, gets special kudos from me for totally pulling off every single one off Tony's fantastic one-liners. ("That man is playing Galaga! He tought we wouldn't notice, but we did.") Props also have to be given to Mark Ruffalo for easily assuming the role of both Banner and Hulk, especially given the fact that he was not in TIH. And then of course, there's Stan Lee in his funniest cameo yet (the entire theater died when they saw his part). But the real hero of the day never even showed up on the screen. Joss Whedon, (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly) co-writer and director, is the one who really made this movie a fantastic joy-ride. From incredibly witty humor ("Puny God!), to effective character managing, he made a masterpiece. In fact, looking back, this film shouldn't have worked. It's an incredibly ambitious move to get six superheroes all teaming up on the silver screen. Add to that the fact that you have to throw in a villian, this movie normally would've collapsed under its own weight. But Joss Whedon, with his effective directing, smart dialogue, and clear understanding of the charecters, managed to pull it all together. In my eyes, no one else could've pulled it off the way he did, and he deserves a lot of credit. And the action finale was amazing. All the characters were totally kicking alien butt, and looking awesome while doing it. This movie not only lived up to my expectations, it surpassed them by a large margin. This is the best sperhero movie I've seen since "The Incredibles", and you do not want to miss this amazing work of genius. And now, I shall end this review the only way one could. Excelsior!
The Avengers
Now, anyone who stayed for the credits of "Captain America: The First Avenger" saw the clip where Nick Fury approaches Cap with a mission that will apparently involve saving the world. "The Avengers" expands on that, and let's just say Fury does not lie about that subject. Our story starts at a S.H.E.I.L.D. base where the Tesseract (a.k.a. Cosmic Cube for you Marvel buffs out there) has activated, but no one has done anything that would cause this. Clint Barton, a.k.a. "Hawkeye" notes that since the Tesseract acts like a doorway, the change may not have been caused at their end of the door. Then a portal opens, and who should pop out but Loki! Evidently he's been busy, as he is trying to lead an alien army through to take over Earth. He proceeds to take over the minds of several people, including Barton and a physicist friend of Thor's. The unstable portal then collapses, and the S.H.E.I.L.D. base is leveled, but not before an action scene that results in the cube getting snatched by Loki and minions. Fury decides that the only way to stop him is to form a response team to find and retreive the Cube. So, he pulls together all the superheroes we've seen in the past movies (minus Thor, S.H.E.I.L.D. doesn't have a means of interdimensional communication. Yet.) to stop Loki's plan. They manage to find him, and while Hawkeye acquires a stabilizing agent for the portal, Cap and Loki do battle, and they are evntually joined by Iron Man. Amazingly, they manage to capture him and after a breif spring and duel with Thor, they head back to the Hellicarrier, and begin tracking the Cube, with help form Bruce Banner, a.k.a. "Hulk". Why is he here? Because the Cube emits small traces of Gamma Radiation of course! They need someone who is able to track it, so they call Banner. I haven't mentioned this yet, but Edward Norton, who played Banner in "The Incredible Hulk", does not return for this movie, and the role of Bruce goes to Mark Ruffalo (who's from Kenosha, Wisconsin, my hometown! [At least, that's what I call it. When you live in a place for ten years, it starts to feel like home. Go figure.]). Don't worry, no one else is replaced. Even Clark Gregg shows up again. Anyways, they search for the Cube, and it's evident that these people may not be the best team there is. Arguments frequently break out, and Loki sits in his cell, waiting for the inevitable clash. This happens when Hawkeye attacks the Hellicarrier, blowing up a huge section of the behemoth with an explosive arrow. S.H.E.I.L.D. tech is hardcore. This injures Banner, unleashing the Hulk. Hawkeye and crew take the prison area, free Loki, and easily trick Thor into the same cage Loki was in, which happens to be suspended above a giant airlock. Thor's cage is released (Spoilers: he survives), Hulk is knocked off by the Black Widow, who also frees Hawkeye, Shellhead (Tony for you laymen) reactivates the engines, and the bad guys escape. The tracking system is also destroyed, but since Tony is a "genuis billionaire playboy phillanthropist", he figures out that Loki's divaness means he wants to show the world just how beaten they are by moving the portal device to the newly commisioned Stark Tower. The heroes regroup in NYC, and Loki opens the portal. However, with The Avengers finally assembled (pun fully inteneded), can he ultimatly win? (Spoilers: He can't)
So that's the plot of the movie. It's not neccessarily big, but with a movie like this, a somewhat thin plot is needed to develop the characters. And developed they are. Each has their own distinct mannerisms and quirks, and all are played by great actors. RDJ, however, gets special kudos from me for totally pulling off every single one off Tony's fantastic one-liners. ("That man is playing Galaga! He tought we wouldn't notice, but we did.") Props also have to be given to Mark Ruffalo for easily assuming the role of both Banner and Hulk, especially given the fact that he was not in TIH. And then of course, there's Stan Lee in his funniest cameo yet (the entire theater died when they saw his part). But the real hero of the day never even showed up on the screen. Joss Whedon, (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly) co-writer and director, is the one who really made this movie a fantastic joy-ride. From incredibly witty humor ("Puny God!), to effective character managing, he made a masterpiece. In fact, looking back, this film shouldn't have worked. It's an incredibly ambitious move to get six superheroes all teaming up on the silver screen. Add to that the fact that you have to throw in a villian, this movie normally would've collapsed under its own weight. But Joss Whedon, with his effective directing, smart dialogue, and clear understanding of the charecters, managed to pull it all together. In my eyes, no one else could've pulled it off the way he did, and he deserves a lot of credit. And the action finale was amazing. All the characters were totally kicking alien butt, and looking awesome while doing it. This movie not only lived up to my expectations, it surpassed them by a large margin. This is the best sperhero movie I've seen since "The Incredibles", and you do not want to miss this amazing work of genius. And now, I shall end this review the only way one could. Excelsior!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Book Review #6
Well, it's taken some time, but here's my new book review! I'm sure many who call themselves Star Wars geeks have heard of Timothy Zahn's classic Heir to the Empire. In fact, most of you have probably read it. This review is not about that book, nor is it about its terrific sequels (Yes, I just said that) Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command. It also is not about either of the books in Zahn's Hand of Thrawn duology. No friends, this is about the first Zahn Star Wars novel to be published by Del Rey, Survivor's Quest.
For those of you who don't know much about the behind-the-scenes history of the Star Wars EU (Expanded Universe), let me give you a short crash-course. Back when the original movies were coming out, novelizations were published by Del Rey (Also the original publishers of the Belgariad, the book series I reviewed several months ago), along with a few spin-off books of their own. Then Bantam Spectra aquired the license, and 1991 they published Heir to the Empire, to massive acclaim. This was followed by the rest of Zahn's Thrawn trilogy, and soon many authors were publishing the continuing adventures of Luke, Leia, Han, Lando (ever notice that three out of the four core human names start with L?), Chewie, C-3P0, R2-D2, and new additions from Zahn, Mara Jade and Talon Karrde. This went on until December of 1999, when the last Bantam Star wars book was published, and the license was given back to Del Rey. According to my friend N'eligahn, the first question they asked when they got the license back was "Who can we kill?". To be fair, Simon Furman asked the same thing when he was offered the chance to write the series finale of the classic cartoon "Beast Wars: Transformers", but he was an acclaimed writer from the comics, and it was understood that here, the story would actually be GOOD. Then Lucas established that the only non-killable charecters were Luke and Leia. And sure enough, the first new novel by them kills off Chewbacca. Yep, it's fairly obvious what their stance on the books is. Anyways, onto the review.
Survivor's Quest
Our story starts three years after Luke and Mara got married (Thank you Zahn! That was a godsend!), and they've been contacted by Admiral Parck (from the Empire of the Hand) who tells them the Chiss (Grand Admiral Thrawn's species) want them to join a ship they're sending to the ruins of the Outbound Flight, which was destroyed by Thrawn just before Revenge of the Sith. The Chiss, feeling guilty about the whole thing, want to make amends and pay their respects. Some other noteworthy passengers include Parck's son, who is now in command of the famed 501st, a man posing as a New Republic ambassador, and member's of a species that seem to think Outbound Flight saved them from the dreaded Vagaari (whom we've never heard of untill now.) This is where my first two problems with the story lie: how the heck did Outbound Flight crash (with most of the ships INTACT) when it was established in an earlier Zahn book that it was UTTERLY DESTROYED, and only ONE ship BARELY survived. Thank you for giving continuity the bird, Del Rey. Another thing I need to mention, it's also established that even though Luke and Mara have been married for three years, they still, haven't been able to spend much time with each other, given all the problems in the galaxy that we don't know about. And still, we hardly touch on that. Anyone else noticing a distinct decline in quality from Zahn's original works? Anyways, the ship is repeatedly sabotoged on the trip there, and suspicions arise, and whatnot. They finally reach their destination and discover their are survivors from the crash. Huge plot twist, right? I haven't mentioned this yet, but we're about halfway through the book already, and very little charecter development has happened. Then we discover that the 'gentle' aliens were really the Vagaari all along, and they want Outbound Flight for some reason that isn't really explained. It's also established that the survivors of the OF hate Jedi for yet another reason the book doesn't explain. Again, I'm wondering just how much of a hand Zahn had in the overall story of the book, because it certainly seems he was just hired to put the pre-written outline onto paper. Anyways, the aliens are stopped, the good guys win, blah blah blah, you know the drill. So that's Survivor's Quest. A Timothy Zahn book that feels nothing like it. Nice job, Del Rey. You produced yet another crappy book, and worst of all, you got one of my favorite authors involved. Seriously people, stick to Bantam's books and leave the rest to rot. You'll thank me later.
For those of you who don't know much about the behind-the-scenes history of the Star Wars EU (Expanded Universe), let me give you a short crash-course. Back when the original movies were coming out, novelizations were published by Del Rey (Also the original publishers of the Belgariad, the book series I reviewed several months ago), along with a few spin-off books of their own. Then Bantam Spectra aquired the license, and 1991 they published Heir to the Empire, to massive acclaim. This was followed by the rest of Zahn's Thrawn trilogy, and soon many authors were publishing the continuing adventures of Luke, Leia, Han, Lando (ever notice that three out of the four core human names start with L?), Chewie, C-3P0, R2-D2, and new additions from Zahn, Mara Jade and Talon Karrde. This went on until December of 1999, when the last Bantam Star wars book was published, and the license was given back to Del Rey. According to my friend N'eligahn, the first question they asked when they got the license back was "Who can we kill?". To be fair, Simon Furman asked the same thing when he was offered the chance to write the series finale of the classic cartoon "Beast Wars: Transformers", but he was an acclaimed writer from the comics, and it was understood that here, the story would actually be GOOD. Then Lucas established that the only non-killable charecters were Luke and Leia. And sure enough, the first new novel by them kills off Chewbacca. Yep, it's fairly obvious what their stance on the books is. Anyways, onto the review.
Survivor's Quest
Our story starts three years after Luke and Mara got married (Thank you Zahn! That was a godsend!), and they've been contacted by Admiral Parck (from the Empire of the Hand) who tells them the Chiss (Grand Admiral Thrawn's species) want them to join a ship they're sending to the ruins of the Outbound Flight, which was destroyed by Thrawn just before Revenge of the Sith. The Chiss, feeling guilty about the whole thing, want to make amends and pay their respects. Some other noteworthy passengers include Parck's son, who is now in command of the famed 501st, a man posing as a New Republic ambassador, and member's of a species that seem to think Outbound Flight saved them from the dreaded Vagaari (whom we've never heard of untill now.) This is where my first two problems with the story lie: how the heck did Outbound Flight crash (with most of the ships INTACT) when it was established in an earlier Zahn book that it was UTTERLY DESTROYED, and only ONE ship BARELY survived. Thank you for giving continuity the bird, Del Rey. Another thing I need to mention, it's also established that even though Luke and Mara have been married for three years, they still, haven't been able to spend much time with each other, given all the problems in the galaxy that we don't know about. And still, we hardly touch on that. Anyone else noticing a distinct decline in quality from Zahn's original works? Anyways, the ship is repeatedly sabotoged on the trip there, and suspicions arise, and whatnot. They finally reach their destination and discover their are survivors from the crash. Huge plot twist, right? I haven't mentioned this yet, but we're about halfway through the book already, and very little charecter development has happened. Then we discover that the 'gentle' aliens were really the Vagaari all along, and they want Outbound Flight for some reason that isn't really explained. It's also established that the survivors of the OF hate Jedi for yet another reason the book doesn't explain. Again, I'm wondering just how much of a hand Zahn had in the overall story of the book, because it certainly seems he was just hired to put the pre-written outline onto paper. Anyways, the aliens are stopped, the good guys win, blah blah blah, you know the drill. So that's Survivor's Quest. A Timothy Zahn book that feels nothing like it. Nice job, Del Rey. You produced yet another crappy book, and worst of all, you got one of my favorite authors involved. Seriously people, stick to Bantam's books and leave the rest to rot. You'll thank me later.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Movie Review #9-10
Well, I decided that two movies I've seen recently have been deemed worthy enough to review on this blog, so here we go. The first one's based off a classic (well, not yet, but it will be, mark my words) cartoon. The other took six years to make, is the second-most expensive film ever made, and for you Trekkies, Trekkers, and Niners out there, stars Donna Murphy, who played Anji in Innsurrection. So with out further ado, I will begin.
Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension in Fabulous 2D
Hey, it's a movie involving interdimensional travel, what do you expect from me? That movie about the rubberbands (shudders)? Anyways, for those of you who havn't heard or don't understand Phineas and Ferb, I'll give you a backdrop: Phineas and Ferb are two roughly ten-year-old step-brothers who decide to make the most of their summer vacation by building and doing fun things like making rollercoasters, time machines, giant robot dogs, machines that defy gravity, portals to Mars, and other cool stuff, along with their friends Isabella (who almost-secretly [everyone but her crush knows] harbors a crush on Phineas), Baljeet (an immagrant from India with a strange obsession with math), and Buford (a "bully" whose most frequent victim is Baljeet). They have a very nosy sister named Candace (the annoying attempt to inject teen melodrama into the show, yes we never get enough of that), who constantly tries to "bust" (unfortunatly, Disney never bothers to stray from that word, so it's practically a catchphrase) them to her Mom, with little success. The secret to this is that their pet platypus (yes, you read that right), Perry, is actually a secret agent who goes off to battle an inept evil scientist named Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Inadvertently, their battles cause Phineas and Ferb's inventions to be transported elsewhere, or destroyed. That is the series in a nutshell (though it probably would be easier and more fun to just watch the show to get an idea of how it works), although I did forget to mention that in almost every episode, a short song is sung, sometimes multiple. But, that's about it. On to the movie!
Our story begins with Phineas and Ferb celebrating the anniversary of their adopting Perry, and deciding to make platypus-like catupaults to play a giant version of bagdmitton. Meanwhile, Perry is being breifed by his superior, Major Monogram, on his mission of the day. He is also reminded that if his owners were ever to find out his identity, he would have to be relocated, as the situation would become much too dangerous for them. Then an unpaid intern (whose been working for them for 5 years and has somehow been below even that rank), Carl, meets with Agent P (for Perry) to give him tools he might need in the field in a sequence that James Bond fans will love. One of these tools is a new rocket car, which has a very touchy accelerator, launching Agent P right through the roof of his lair, just as Phineas and Ferb have launched their giant shuttlecock. The car and 'cock collide, crashing the car, and causing the 'cock, containing Phineas and Ferb, to be sent to the worst place possible: Dr. Doofenshmirtz's building. They crash into the doctors inator of the day (yes, almost all of them are called something-inator), and, not knowing the doctor is evil, offer to help fix his machine, and Other-dimensionator. Perry eventually arrives, but is unable to do much with the boys there. Despite his best efforts, the machine is completed and they all cross over into the 2nd Dimension. There, they discover that this universe's Doof has already accomplished the 1st Dimension's one dream: to be the undisputed overlord and master of the entire Tri-State Area. They all meet with Doof-2, who reveals that he has defeated Perry-2 and made him a cyborg leader of his robot army. Doof-2 then exposes regular Perry as secret agent, much to Phineas' shock and anger, and they narrowly escape a group of robots and the Platyborg. After discovering the remote they invented for the Other-Dimensionator is malfunctioning, they decide to find their counterparts, while Doof-2 decides to invade the 1st dimension, and tries to capture the regular Perry. That is the plot of the movie without giving away most of the middle, and the end.
The animation is regular Phineas and Ferb stuff, with a little CGI for the robots. The story is very good, and you can really see how betrayed Phineas felt that Perry kept a secret like this from them. That's really the heart of the film: Phineas and Ferb's relationship with Perry. The worst part is, Perry can't even tell them why he had to keep his identity a secret, because, well, he's a platypus. But it's very clear that they all love each other very dearly, and are willing to go to any length to protect each other. The only thing that upset me was the ending, but that was a fan moment, and I can let it pass, because the rest of it makes me forget that part entirely. Well, almost. It was at the end, and any Phineas and Ferb fan whose seen the episode "I was a Middle-Aged Robot" will possibly understand. And no, I'm not going to spoil it. Go watch the movie yourself, instead of being lazy and reading a completely unproffessional, unwarrented, and probably unwanted, review. Anyways, now onto one of the biggest parts of Phineas and Ferb: the music. This movie was no slouch when it came to songs, with a total of nine, rivaling the amount of only "Rollercoaster: The Musical!". Thankfully, they're all good as well. "Robot Riot" was a lot of fun, and "Summer (Where Do We Begin?)" is a perfect song to describe exactly what Phineas and Ferb is all about. And the regular Phineas and Ferb humour is here, including (of course) the reference to Meap. And yes, my knowledge of this show nearly rivals my Star Trek trivia, if not surpassing it. In conclusion, this is the best DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie for you laymen) in years, and I would heavily reccomend it to anyone who bothers to read this long, dull, and geeky blog (Have I bored you to sleep yet? If so, don't say anything.).
Tangled
I'm beggining to see a pattern here. All right, I'll admit it: I'm a sucker for Disney movies. I won't apologise for that. I can like whatever I want. And let's be honest, who is there alive that hasn't watched a Disney movie and enjoyed it? That can only be fifty people at most, and that's not very much. I will say, however, that Disney isn't infallible. Their T.V. channel proves that much. But I digress. I can honestly say that when I saw this, I was there because of Flynn and Maximus. I've never been that into Disney's Princess movies. Why, I defy you to guess, but some tend to think it's my gender. However that might be, I still wasn't a fan. I may have enjoyed Mulan (Which really isn't a Princess movie anyways), The Princess and the Frog (I think the music had something to do with that), and Beauty and the Beast (Because anyone who doesn't like this movie obviously only likes really violent movies or really raunchy ones), but I couldn't watch the rest (of the princesses, at least, in movies where they were the main protaganist. I can enjoy plenty of other Disney movies.). They just weren't for me. Then we saw this movie. And I'm still astonished to this day that it was as good as it was. I'll admit I was suprised that Rapunzel was as prominent as she was, but it didn't detract. Rather, I think I've gained a new appreciation for these kinds of movies, and I'm totally okay with that. Anyways, Tangled is about (be aware, this is a pretty long backstory, and I'm still suprised it went by so quick in the movie) how an old women uses a magic flower created from a sundrop to regain her youth. However, a nearby King uproots the flower to save his dying wife, who's currently preganent. The magic works, and a baby girl with blond hair (her parents have brown, so this is probably an effect of the flower) is born. The old women, Mother Gothel, sneaks in, and after discovering that the babies hair loses its power when cut, takes the child, and flees to a secluded tower in the forest, where she raises the child, Rapunzel, as her own, and imprisons the young Princess. However, the King and Queen launch thousands of floating lanterns into the sky every year on Rapunzel's birthday, in an effort to guide her home. Years later, Rapunzel is about to turn eightteen, and has still never left her tower. However, to keep her company, she keeps a chameleon as a pet, named Pascal. Try as she might, she still cannot convince Gothel to let her out to see the lights in person. Meanwhile, swashbuckling rogue Flynn Rider has just stolen the Princess' crown and is fleeing for his life in the very forest Gothel has taken refuge in. Upon seeing the tower, he climbs in, and Rapunzel, believing him to be a thug after her hair, knocks him out with a frying pan. Deciding that she needs someone to guide her to the lights and back, tells Flynn that she will not give him his satchel containing the crown unless he does so. Although reluctant, he agrees, and they set of on a journey involving singing pub thugs, a fight sequence at a dam, and a very overzalous palace horse named Maximus. Along the way, the usual things happen, and Rapunzel and Flynn begin to fall in love. But can they escape Mother Gothel's sinister plans? And do I sound too much like the blurb of a book?
Anyways, that's the plot of the movie. Nothing astounding, but it's there at least. I can think of a few movies right now that barely had a plot at all (I'm looking at you, Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny [You'd be suprised what you can get off RiffTrax]) The charecters are all very well-constructed, making them seem like living, breathing people. Gothel in paticular is very interesting as a villian, as she's either a very good actress, or does slightly somewhere care about Rapunzel (that just gets destroyed once Rapunzel leaves). And Flynn of course is a hilarious addition, masterfully voiced by Chuck's Zachery Levi. However, two of the most memorable charecters actually had no voice actor: Pascal and Maximus, who clearly steal every scene they're in. The humor of the movie is spot-on, and never feeling out of place, or resorting to the DreamWorks method of pop-culture parody that they have so clearly defined. Instead they rely on the situation itself, or the charecters ability to deal out one-liners. I'm not saying DreamWorks humor is bad, rather it's just their expertise, not Disney's. Disney can't do their type, and when they try to, it falls pretty flat. Thankfully, they avoid this, and make a much better film in the process. I especially loved Flynn's reply to Rapunzel correcting him on whether Pascal was a frog or a chameleon. "Nuance!" And the visuals were quite a sight to behold. While some films were made for traditional hand-drawn animation, this movie clearly knew it was CGI and used every chance it had to make use of that fact. The lanterns would absitively posilutely not been as amazing hand-drawn. All-in-all, it was definetley a film worhty to be Disney's fiftieth animated feature, and I daresay Walter himself would have been proud, if he were alive today. But the torch has been passed. BTW, all Disney fans and Phineas and Ferb fans should be on the lookout for news about an upcoming theatrical Phineas and Ferb movie. No gurantees it will be in Fabulous 2D though!
Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension in Fabulous 2D
Hey, it's a movie involving interdimensional travel, what do you expect from me? That movie about the rubberbands (shudders)? Anyways, for those of you who havn't heard or don't understand Phineas and Ferb, I'll give you a backdrop: Phineas and Ferb are two roughly ten-year-old step-brothers who decide to make the most of their summer vacation by building and doing fun things like making rollercoasters, time machines, giant robot dogs, machines that defy gravity, portals to Mars, and other cool stuff, along with their friends Isabella (who almost-secretly [everyone but her crush knows] harbors a crush on Phineas), Baljeet (an immagrant from India with a strange obsession with math), and Buford (a "bully" whose most frequent victim is Baljeet). They have a very nosy sister named Candace (the annoying attempt to inject teen melodrama into the show, yes we never get enough of that), who constantly tries to "bust" (unfortunatly, Disney never bothers to stray from that word, so it's practically a catchphrase) them to her Mom, with little success. The secret to this is that their pet platypus (yes, you read that right), Perry, is actually a secret agent who goes off to battle an inept evil scientist named Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Inadvertently, their battles cause Phineas and Ferb's inventions to be transported elsewhere, or destroyed. That is the series in a nutshell (though it probably would be easier and more fun to just watch the show to get an idea of how it works), although I did forget to mention that in almost every episode, a short song is sung, sometimes multiple. But, that's about it. On to the movie!
Our story begins with Phineas and Ferb celebrating the anniversary of their adopting Perry, and deciding to make platypus-like catupaults to play a giant version of bagdmitton. Meanwhile, Perry is being breifed by his superior, Major Monogram, on his mission of the day. He is also reminded that if his owners were ever to find out his identity, he would have to be relocated, as the situation would become much too dangerous for them. Then an unpaid intern (whose been working for them for 5 years and has somehow been below even that rank), Carl, meets with Agent P (for Perry) to give him tools he might need in the field in a sequence that James Bond fans will love. One of these tools is a new rocket car, which has a very touchy accelerator, launching Agent P right through the roof of his lair, just as Phineas and Ferb have launched their giant shuttlecock. The car and 'cock collide, crashing the car, and causing the 'cock, containing Phineas and Ferb, to be sent to the worst place possible: Dr. Doofenshmirtz's building. They crash into the doctors inator of the day (yes, almost all of them are called something-inator), and, not knowing the doctor is evil, offer to help fix his machine, and Other-dimensionator. Perry eventually arrives, but is unable to do much with the boys there. Despite his best efforts, the machine is completed and they all cross over into the 2nd Dimension. There, they discover that this universe's Doof has already accomplished the 1st Dimension's one dream: to be the undisputed overlord and master of the entire Tri-State Area. They all meet with Doof-2, who reveals that he has defeated Perry-2 and made him a cyborg leader of his robot army. Doof-2 then exposes regular Perry as secret agent, much to Phineas' shock and anger, and they narrowly escape a group of robots and the Platyborg. After discovering the remote they invented for the Other-Dimensionator is malfunctioning, they decide to find their counterparts, while Doof-2 decides to invade the 1st dimension, and tries to capture the regular Perry. That is the plot of the movie without giving away most of the middle, and the end.
The animation is regular Phineas and Ferb stuff, with a little CGI for the robots. The story is very good, and you can really see how betrayed Phineas felt that Perry kept a secret like this from them. That's really the heart of the film: Phineas and Ferb's relationship with Perry. The worst part is, Perry can't even tell them why he had to keep his identity a secret, because, well, he's a platypus. But it's very clear that they all love each other very dearly, and are willing to go to any length to protect each other. The only thing that upset me was the ending, but that was a fan moment, and I can let it pass, because the rest of it makes me forget that part entirely. Well, almost. It was at the end, and any Phineas and Ferb fan whose seen the episode "I was a Middle-Aged Robot" will possibly understand. And no, I'm not going to spoil it. Go watch the movie yourself, instead of being lazy and reading a completely unproffessional, unwarrented, and probably unwanted, review. Anyways, now onto one of the biggest parts of Phineas and Ferb: the music. This movie was no slouch when it came to songs, with a total of nine, rivaling the amount of only "Rollercoaster: The Musical!". Thankfully, they're all good as well. "Robot Riot" was a lot of fun, and "Summer (Where Do We Begin?)" is a perfect song to describe exactly what Phineas and Ferb is all about. And the regular Phineas and Ferb humour is here, including (of course) the reference to Meap. And yes, my knowledge of this show nearly rivals my Star Trek trivia, if not surpassing it. In conclusion, this is the best DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie for you laymen) in years, and I would heavily reccomend it to anyone who bothers to read this long, dull, and geeky blog (Have I bored you to sleep yet? If so, don't say anything.).
Tangled
I'm beggining to see a pattern here. All right, I'll admit it: I'm a sucker for Disney movies. I won't apologise for that. I can like whatever I want. And let's be honest, who is there alive that hasn't watched a Disney movie and enjoyed it? That can only be fifty people at most, and that's not very much. I will say, however, that Disney isn't infallible. Their T.V. channel proves that much. But I digress. I can honestly say that when I saw this, I was there because of Flynn and Maximus. I've never been that into Disney's Princess movies. Why, I defy you to guess, but some tend to think it's my gender. However that might be, I still wasn't a fan. I may have enjoyed Mulan (Which really isn't a Princess movie anyways), The Princess and the Frog (I think the music had something to do with that), and Beauty and the Beast (Because anyone who doesn't like this movie obviously only likes really violent movies or really raunchy ones), but I couldn't watch the rest (of the princesses, at least, in movies where they were the main protaganist. I can enjoy plenty of other Disney movies.). They just weren't for me. Then we saw this movie. And I'm still astonished to this day that it was as good as it was. I'll admit I was suprised that Rapunzel was as prominent as she was, but it didn't detract. Rather, I think I've gained a new appreciation for these kinds of movies, and I'm totally okay with that. Anyways, Tangled is about (be aware, this is a pretty long backstory, and I'm still suprised it went by so quick in the movie) how an old women uses a magic flower created from a sundrop to regain her youth. However, a nearby King uproots the flower to save his dying wife, who's currently preganent. The magic works, and a baby girl with blond hair (her parents have brown, so this is probably an effect of the flower) is born. The old women, Mother Gothel, sneaks in, and after discovering that the babies hair loses its power when cut, takes the child, and flees to a secluded tower in the forest, where she raises the child, Rapunzel, as her own, and imprisons the young Princess. However, the King and Queen launch thousands of floating lanterns into the sky every year on Rapunzel's birthday, in an effort to guide her home. Years later, Rapunzel is about to turn eightteen, and has still never left her tower. However, to keep her company, she keeps a chameleon as a pet, named Pascal. Try as she might, she still cannot convince Gothel to let her out to see the lights in person. Meanwhile, swashbuckling rogue Flynn Rider has just stolen the Princess' crown and is fleeing for his life in the very forest Gothel has taken refuge in. Upon seeing the tower, he climbs in, and Rapunzel, believing him to be a thug after her hair, knocks him out with a frying pan. Deciding that she needs someone to guide her to the lights and back, tells Flynn that she will not give him his satchel containing the crown unless he does so. Although reluctant, he agrees, and they set of on a journey involving singing pub thugs, a fight sequence at a dam, and a very overzalous palace horse named Maximus. Along the way, the usual things happen, and Rapunzel and Flynn begin to fall in love. But can they escape Mother Gothel's sinister plans? And do I sound too much like the blurb of a book?
Anyways, that's the plot of the movie. Nothing astounding, but it's there at least. I can think of a few movies right now that barely had a plot at all (I'm looking at you, Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny [You'd be suprised what you can get off RiffTrax]) The charecters are all very well-constructed, making them seem like living, breathing people. Gothel in paticular is very interesting as a villian, as she's either a very good actress, or does slightly somewhere care about Rapunzel (that just gets destroyed once Rapunzel leaves). And Flynn of course is a hilarious addition, masterfully voiced by Chuck's Zachery Levi. However, two of the most memorable charecters actually had no voice actor: Pascal and Maximus, who clearly steal every scene they're in. The humor of the movie is spot-on, and never feeling out of place, or resorting to the DreamWorks method of pop-culture parody that they have so clearly defined. Instead they rely on the situation itself, or the charecters ability to deal out one-liners. I'm not saying DreamWorks humor is bad, rather it's just their expertise, not Disney's. Disney can't do their type, and when they try to, it falls pretty flat. Thankfully, they avoid this, and make a much better film in the process. I especially loved Flynn's reply to Rapunzel correcting him on whether Pascal was a frog or a chameleon. "Nuance!" And the visuals were quite a sight to behold. While some films were made for traditional hand-drawn animation, this movie clearly knew it was CGI and used every chance it had to make use of that fact. The lanterns would absitively posilutely not been as amazing hand-drawn. All-in-all, it was definetley a film worhty to be Disney's fiftieth animated feature, and I daresay Walter himself would have been proud, if he were alive today. But the torch has been passed. BTW, all Disney fans and Phineas and Ferb fans should be on the lookout for news about an upcoming theatrical Phineas and Ferb movie. No gurantees it will be in Fabulous 2D though!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Book Review #1-5
Yes, in one of my greatest acts of geekiness, I will now review a boook series for my adoring public. Hi fans! (Waves). Anyway, I'm going to review something so amazing, so suprising, so shocking, that certain readers (you know who you are) may need to turn around and vomit on the person sitting next to you right after jumping through the ceiling (Note: I am NOT legally responsible for any suits brought to these readers over property damage). And now, without further ado, I give you, my first book series review.
The Belgariad
Wait, you mean to tell me that no one is suprised by this? No shock? No property damage suits? Fine, have it your way. For you layman who've never heard of The Belgariad or David Eddings, (how one can't is beyond me. You'd have to be from a different planet. Then again, it may be the other way around.) it's a story about a boy named Garrion who joins a quest to recover a mysterious mystical object, defeat monsters, and fufill prophecies. Yes, it is very generic, but, I prefer to let the book do the spoiling rather than me. Seriously, if you can't figure out what direction the books take after the first one, Pawn of Prophecy, than you have the IQ of a peice of gum. Before I jump into the review itself, I need to establish one thing: I will not be reviewing the books individually. My reasons for this will be explained later, but for now, you've been warned.
The plot is fairly good, if predictable, but that's part of the charm of the story. It makes no attempts to sway from its path, and is able to have fun with itself. That's one of the series main strengths: it doesn't take itself too seriously. Sure, it does have serious moments, but it does try to be fun. And it succeeds almost effortlessly. Silk in paticular is a ridiculously funny charecter. Its magic/sorcery/witchcraft/wizardry/aaugh! system is also unique, and one of the few series I've read where people bother to differentiate between sorcerers (the main people with "powers"), magicians, wizards, and witches. It's very refreshing, even though continuity's toes are frequently stepped on. However, this is only a minor complaint, as the books easily distract you from all of that. My biggest complaint is that the books stop at places that don't neccesarily feel like they fit. I attribute that to two factors. 1: The books really are just one continous story, and not episodic in the slightest. 2: The series was originally to be a trilogy, but Del Rey split them into five books. This didn't affect my reading too much, as my family owns all of the books, but I did notice it regardless. In conclusion, The Belgariad is one of the best fantasy series ever written, and I would highly reccomend it to anyone brave enough to call themself a geek, anyone who acts like a geek but doesn't call themself that, and to all the expresso machines at Starbucks (Seriously, they need something to do. Do you know how boring it is being a cofee maker?).
The Belgariad
Wait, you mean to tell me that no one is suprised by this? No shock? No property damage suits? Fine, have it your way. For you layman who've never heard of The Belgariad or David Eddings, (how one can't is beyond me. You'd have to be from a different planet. Then again, it may be the other way around.) it's a story about a boy named Garrion who joins a quest to recover a mysterious mystical object, defeat monsters, and fufill prophecies. Yes, it is very generic, but, I prefer to let the book do the spoiling rather than me. Seriously, if you can't figure out what direction the books take after the first one, Pawn of Prophecy, than you have the IQ of a peice of gum. Before I jump into the review itself, I need to establish one thing: I will not be reviewing the books individually. My reasons for this will be explained later, but for now, you've been warned.
The plot is fairly good, if predictable, but that's part of the charm of the story. It makes no attempts to sway from its path, and is able to have fun with itself. That's one of the series main strengths: it doesn't take itself too seriously. Sure, it does have serious moments, but it does try to be fun. And it succeeds almost effortlessly. Silk in paticular is a ridiculously funny charecter. Its magic/sorcery/witchcraft/wizardry/aaugh! system is also unique, and one of the few series I've read where people bother to differentiate between sorcerers (the main people with "powers"), magicians, wizards, and witches. It's very refreshing, even though continuity's toes are frequently stepped on. However, this is only a minor complaint, as the books easily distract you from all of that. My biggest complaint is that the books stop at places that don't neccesarily feel like they fit. I attribute that to two factors. 1: The books really are just one continous story, and not episodic in the slightest. 2: The series was originally to be a trilogy, but Del Rey split them into five books. This didn't affect my reading too much, as my family owns all of the books, but I did notice it regardless. In conclusion, The Belgariad is one of the best fantasy series ever written, and I would highly reccomend it to anyone brave enough to call themself a geek, anyone who acts like a geek but doesn't call themself that, and to all the expresso machines at Starbucks (Seriously, they need something to do. Do you know how boring it is being a cofee maker?).
Friday, September 16, 2011
Movie Review #6-8
Okay, I've decided to mix things up a little.I'm sure my legion of readers (all three of them) are getting a little tired of me saying the critics are wrong, because anyone can think that. So this time, I'm going to agree with them. I'm tackling one of the biggest sci-fi trilogies of the 20th century. And no, it's not Star Wars, or The Matrix. Somehow, I've never seen Matrix. I'm sure I will eventually though. After all, what kind of geek would I be if I didn't? Anyways, for you Trekkies, Trekkers, and Niners who read my blog, no, it is not Star Trek 2-4. Now that we have all that settled, I will begin the review.
Back to the Future
Well, I think that pretty much says it all. I know many of you have already seen it, but I had to do it. Now, I tend look at them as one continous movie, but for reviewing it's easier to seperate them. But if you really want to know my ranking, of the movies, here it goes: I can't decide. All three are classics. And just to get this of my chest I saw a review of BTTF2 on imdb that said Christopher Lloyf ripped off Christopher Walken's performance in Click. That guy clearly is not a professional geek. The most obvious reason: BTTF2 came out in 1989, while Click came out in 2006! For those who need clarification, that means that PART 2 CAME OUT 17 YEARS BEFORE CLICK, THEREFORE CLICK DIDN'T EXIST YET! So that's for all you people out there who say that. Thank you all readers who sat through that rant. Now, I'll start reviewing.
Back to the Future is a story about 17-year-old Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox), who has befriended an eccentric inventor named Doctor Emmet L. Brown (Christopher Lloyd). The good doctor has just invented a time machine, (out of a DeLorean of course!) but the thing that opens the time warp, the flux capacitor requires 1.21 gigawatts (!) to function. So what does the Doc do? Rip off some Libyan terrorists of course! Anyways, the Libyans find out that they were ripped off, and kill Doc in front of Marty, who, in an attempt to escape the terrorists, ends up in 1955. Unfortunatley, the capacitor does not have enough power to take him back to the future. (Yes, I just name-dropped, and I will probably do it again.) While there, he accidently causes his mother to fall in love with him, instead of his father, thus threatening his very existance. Meanwhile, he formulates a plan with the '55 Doc to get him back in a week. So now he has to make his parents fall in love, try to get the Doc to listen to his warnings about his future death, and get back home. That is the plot of the first movie. The acting is superb. The fact that we're sad that Doc is dead ten minutes after we first saw him and later relieved to see his '55 self is a true testament to Lloyd's acting ability. And if acting is simply reacting, then Michael J. Fox has it nailed. He obviously knew what he was doing worked, and the fact that his performance in the movie was terriffic even though he had to film Family Ties at the same exact time is a testament to the quality of the actor. Thomas F. Wilson, Crispin Glover, and Lea Thompson are also great. I especially laughed when I found out Wilson was apparently one of the nicest people the other filmmakers said they had ever worked with. Anyways, the special effects are short, but sweet, even today. They are very realistic. Truely a classic of American cinema.
Back to The Future Part II
Now this is where things get intresting. Everyone agrees that the first one is one of the best films ever made, but the second one has a little more controversy. While it does have a lot of great sci-fi elements in it, it seemed to many people to actually be at least average. Personnally, I loved it, and there was a time when it was my favorite of the trilogy. The fact that it focuses on the sci-fi stuff does not turn me off at all. It wasn't exactly meant to have the same impact as the original, and I think people forgot that. Essentially what happens is that Marty, Doc Brown, and Jennifer (Marty's girlfriend) go to the future to stop Marty Jr. from participating in a robery and starting a chain of events that ruin the McFly family forever. One thing many noticed afterwards, is that Claudia Wells no longer protrayed Jennifer. Instead, it was Elizibeth Shue. Personally, I thought that Shue's reaction to the Doc talking about the future and the time machine was more believable than Well's. Anyways, after they stop that, Marty buys a sports almanac that tells the outcomes of every major sporting event to the end of the century, in an attempt to cheat at gambling. However, Doc finds out about his scheme, and throws the almanac in the trash. Meanwhile, Biff hears their conversation, and steals the time machine. He returns and Marty, Doc, Jennifer, and Einstein (who was there earlier) return to 1985. Once there, Marty and the Doc discover that Biff has taken over Hill Valley, and chaos and anarchy rule the streets. It is also established that the time circuits are malfunctioning, causing the destination time to to randomly change. Marty and the Doc discover that 2015 Biff stole the time machine, and went back in time to give himself Marty's almanac, thus stealing Marty's idea. However, since the DeLorean does not keep a record of all times visited, only where you're going, where you are, and where you last were. So, Marty must learn from Biff, who, coincidently, married Loraine after George McFly was murdered. (Intresting piece of trivia: George was dead in 1985-A because the filmmakers couldn't get Crispin Glover back. Personally, I think it gave the future more of an impact, because it showed just how bad that time period was) He asks him, and Biff tells him he recieved the book November 12, 1955 (coincidentally, the same day Marty left the timeperiod, and got back to the future.) However, Biff also reveals that his older self warned him that Marty or Doc would ask about the book, and to do whatever was neccessary to remove them. Biff then begins to shoot at Marty, and eventually traps him on the rooftop. There, he reveals he killed George McFly. (What a suprise, I think I'll have a heart attack and die from that suprise) Marty, at gunpoint, jumps off the building, but lands on the DeLorean, which can now fly (Did I forget to mention that? My bad.). Doc incapacitates Biff, (by hitting him with the car door, of all things) and our heroes travel back to the past. Once there, they must try to get the almanac from '55 Biff after 2015 Biff leaves, while avoiding contact with their past selves. (Ironically, for all Doc's warnings on this, he's the only one to actually be seen and talked to by his past self.) Eventually, they get the almanac and destroy it. However, the DeLorean is struck by lightning while turning at a speed of 88 mph which causes it to vanish into the unknown. Then, Marty receives a letter stating that Doc is alive and currently in the year 1885. Now, Marty must find the '55 Doc, and enlist his aid to rescue the '85 Doc, and return home.
Back to the Future Part III
Now, things get intresting. One noteworthy thing about this trilogy, is that each movie is a different genre from the last. The first one was a sci-fi comedy, Part 2 a sci-fi action-adventure movie, and the last, a full-blown Western. I always liked this one well enough, but I have found it's the one I rewatch the least. I like it, but I prefer rewatching the others. Anyway, the story picks up after the last movie. Doc fainted, and wakes up in his home, believing seeing Marty after he was sent back was a simple dream. He then sees Marty again, and discovers it wasn't a dream. Marty explains the situation. They read the letter, and discover that the Doc has been in 1885 for the past eight months. He has instructed Marty to retrieve and repair the Delorean, and to leave him in 1885. The Doc and Marty then go to find the DeLorean. It turns up buried under a graveyard, and they manage to retrieve it. While there, Marty discovers a grave stone that reads: Here lies Emmett L. Brown. Shot in the back by Buford Tannen over a matter of eighty dollars. Dedicated to his beloved Clara. Marty decides that since Doc dies only a mere week after he writes the letter, that he must go back and save him. Marty does so, but accidently damages the DeLorean, making it unable to be driven. They decide that they will have to wait till 8:00 Monday morning till they can hijack a locomotive, and push the DeLorean into the future. Doc also learns about Clara, and learns that she is the new schoolteacher that he volunteered to pick up from the train station. He decides not to meet her, in the intrest of perserving the timeline. Later, they see a runaway horsecab heading towards the ravine. Doc saves the passenger, but learns her name: Clara Clayton. He falls in love with her at first sight. During the course of the week, Doc and Clara continue to grow closer, Marty incurs the rath of Biff's ancestor, Buford Tannen, and eventually ends up challenging him to a one-on-one duel, to take place on Monday, at 9. Doc, noting that the fight was arranged because of Marty's "chicken" problem, tries to warn him that he needs to think more rationally. Eventually, complications arise, and Marty has to duel Tannen, or else he will kill Doc. Marty, beggining to realize his fault, tries to avoid killing Tannen. Tannen then shoots him, and Marty collapses. Buford walks over to his fallen body, and Marty pulls himself up. Tannen then begins a fistfight, attacking Marty's stomach. He reels back in pain, and Marty takes advantage of his suprise, and knocks him out, resulting in Tannen falling into a manure cart. Marty reveals that he mimicked something he saw in a Clint Eastwood movie: he used part of a stove as a shield. Tannen gets arrested, and Marty and the Doc catch the train. However, Clara catches on to the scheme, and follows them. Doc, having to save Clara from the collapsing locomotive, misses the DeLorean, and Marty goes back alone. Once he gets back, however, the DeLorean gets hit by a train, with Marty just barely escaping. He goes to check on Jennifer, and they see Needles, who challenges Marty to a street race. However, it was earliar established that this race will result in Marty hitting a Rolls-Royce, and his life spiraling into a catastrophe. Marty begins to shift gears, and when the light turns green, the cars take off. Needles wins, and the Rolls-Royce rounds the corner. However, Marty moved in reverse, deciding not to race him. Jennifer then discovers that the note she took back from the future has erased. They then go back to the sight of the DeLorean's wreck. While looking through it, they see the train corossing bars go down, though no train is there. Suddenly, a large steam locomotive appears out of nowhere, heavily altered. The door opens, and Doc runs out to greet Marty. He then introduces Clara, and their children: Jules and Verne. After letting Marty know that he managed to develop a steam-powered flux capacitor, and showing that he picked up Einstein, he activates the trains flying abilities, and travels away.
And that concludes the Back to the Future trilogy. An intresting fact about it is that it draws little attention to itself. Every one calls it a classic, but parodies of it are few and far between. However, it will always live on in the hearts of us all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make sure my parents meeting isn't disrupted. It's pretty heavy, but if I don't, there won't be much point in getting back to the future.
Back to the Future
Well, I think that pretty much says it all. I know many of you have already seen it, but I had to do it. Now, I tend look at them as one continous movie, but for reviewing it's easier to seperate them. But if you really want to know my ranking, of the movies, here it goes: I can't decide. All three are classics. And just to get this of my chest I saw a review of BTTF2 on imdb that said Christopher Lloyf ripped off Christopher Walken's performance in Click. That guy clearly is not a professional geek. The most obvious reason: BTTF2 came out in 1989, while Click came out in 2006! For those who need clarification, that means that PART 2 CAME OUT 17 YEARS BEFORE CLICK, THEREFORE CLICK DIDN'T EXIST YET! So that's for all you people out there who say that. Thank you all readers who sat through that rant. Now, I'll start reviewing.
Back to the Future is a story about 17-year-old Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox), who has befriended an eccentric inventor named Doctor Emmet L. Brown (Christopher Lloyd). The good doctor has just invented a time machine, (out of a DeLorean of course!) but the thing that opens the time warp, the flux capacitor requires 1.21 gigawatts (!) to function. So what does the Doc do? Rip off some Libyan terrorists of course! Anyways, the Libyans find out that they were ripped off, and kill Doc in front of Marty, who, in an attempt to escape the terrorists, ends up in 1955. Unfortunatley, the capacitor does not have enough power to take him back to the future. (Yes, I just name-dropped, and I will probably do it again.) While there, he accidently causes his mother to fall in love with him, instead of his father, thus threatening his very existance. Meanwhile, he formulates a plan with the '55 Doc to get him back in a week. So now he has to make his parents fall in love, try to get the Doc to listen to his warnings about his future death, and get back home. That is the plot of the first movie. The acting is superb. The fact that we're sad that Doc is dead ten minutes after we first saw him and later relieved to see his '55 self is a true testament to Lloyd's acting ability. And if acting is simply reacting, then Michael J. Fox has it nailed. He obviously knew what he was doing worked, and the fact that his performance in the movie was terriffic even though he had to film Family Ties at the same exact time is a testament to the quality of the actor. Thomas F. Wilson, Crispin Glover, and Lea Thompson are also great. I especially laughed when I found out Wilson was apparently one of the nicest people the other filmmakers said they had ever worked with. Anyways, the special effects are short, but sweet, even today. They are very realistic. Truely a classic of American cinema.
Back to The Future Part II
Now this is where things get intresting. Everyone agrees that the first one is one of the best films ever made, but the second one has a little more controversy. While it does have a lot of great sci-fi elements in it, it seemed to many people to actually be at least average. Personnally, I loved it, and there was a time when it was my favorite of the trilogy. The fact that it focuses on the sci-fi stuff does not turn me off at all. It wasn't exactly meant to have the same impact as the original, and I think people forgot that. Essentially what happens is that Marty, Doc Brown, and Jennifer (Marty's girlfriend) go to the future to stop Marty Jr. from participating in a robery and starting a chain of events that ruin the McFly family forever. One thing many noticed afterwards, is that Claudia Wells no longer protrayed Jennifer. Instead, it was Elizibeth Shue. Personally, I thought that Shue's reaction to the Doc talking about the future and the time machine was more believable than Well's. Anyways, after they stop that, Marty buys a sports almanac that tells the outcomes of every major sporting event to the end of the century, in an attempt to cheat at gambling. However, Doc finds out about his scheme, and throws the almanac in the trash. Meanwhile, Biff hears their conversation, and steals the time machine. He returns and Marty, Doc, Jennifer, and Einstein (who was there earlier) return to 1985. Once there, Marty and the Doc discover that Biff has taken over Hill Valley, and chaos and anarchy rule the streets. It is also established that the time circuits are malfunctioning, causing the destination time to to randomly change. Marty and the Doc discover that 2015 Biff stole the time machine, and went back in time to give himself Marty's almanac, thus stealing Marty's idea. However, since the DeLorean does not keep a record of all times visited, only where you're going, where you are, and where you last were. So, Marty must learn from Biff, who, coincidently, married Loraine after George McFly was murdered. (Intresting piece of trivia: George was dead in 1985-A because the filmmakers couldn't get Crispin Glover back. Personally, I think it gave the future more of an impact, because it showed just how bad that time period was) He asks him, and Biff tells him he recieved the book November 12, 1955 (coincidentally, the same day Marty left the timeperiod, and got back to the future.) However, Biff also reveals that his older self warned him that Marty or Doc would ask about the book, and to do whatever was neccessary to remove them. Biff then begins to shoot at Marty, and eventually traps him on the rooftop. There, he reveals he killed George McFly. (What a suprise, I think I'll have a heart attack and die from that suprise) Marty, at gunpoint, jumps off the building, but lands on the DeLorean, which can now fly (Did I forget to mention that? My bad.). Doc incapacitates Biff, (by hitting him with the car door, of all things) and our heroes travel back to the past. Once there, they must try to get the almanac from '55 Biff after 2015 Biff leaves, while avoiding contact with their past selves. (Ironically, for all Doc's warnings on this, he's the only one to actually be seen and talked to by his past self.) Eventually, they get the almanac and destroy it. However, the DeLorean is struck by lightning while turning at a speed of 88 mph which causes it to vanish into the unknown. Then, Marty receives a letter stating that Doc is alive and currently in the year 1885. Now, Marty must find the '55 Doc, and enlist his aid to rescue the '85 Doc, and return home.
Back to the Future Part III
Now, things get intresting. One noteworthy thing about this trilogy, is that each movie is a different genre from the last. The first one was a sci-fi comedy, Part 2 a sci-fi action-adventure movie, and the last, a full-blown Western. I always liked this one well enough, but I have found it's the one I rewatch the least. I like it, but I prefer rewatching the others. Anyway, the story picks up after the last movie. Doc fainted, and wakes up in his home, believing seeing Marty after he was sent back was a simple dream. He then sees Marty again, and discovers it wasn't a dream. Marty explains the situation. They read the letter, and discover that the Doc has been in 1885 for the past eight months. He has instructed Marty to retrieve and repair the Delorean, and to leave him in 1885. The Doc and Marty then go to find the DeLorean. It turns up buried under a graveyard, and they manage to retrieve it. While there, Marty discovers a grave stone that reads: Here lies Emmett L. Brown. Shot in the back by Buford Tannen over a matter of eighty dollars. Dedicated to his beloved Clara. Marty decides that since Doc dies only a mere week after he writes the letter, that he must go back and save him. Marty does so, but accidently damages the DeLorean, making it unable to be driven. They decide that they will have to wait till 8:00 Monday morning till they can hijack a locomotive, and push the DeLorean into the future. Doc also learns about Clara, and learns that she is the new schoolteacher that he volunteered to pick up from the train station. He decides not to meet her, in the intrest of perserving the timeline. Later, they see a runaway horsecab heading towards the ravine. Doc saves the passenger, but learns her name: Clara Clayton. He falls in love with her at first sight. During the course of the week, Doc and Clara continue to grow closer, Marty incurs the rath of Biff's ancestor, Buford Tannen, and eventually ends up challenging him to a one-on-one duel, to take place on Monday, at 9. Doc, noting that the fight was arranged because of Marty's "chicken" problem, tries to warn him that he needs to think more rationally. Eventually, complications arise, and Marty has to duel Tannen, or else he will kill Doc. Marty, beggining to realize his fault, tries to avoid killing Tannen. Tannen then shoots him, and Marty collapses. Buford walks over to his fallen body, and Marty pulls himself up. Tannen then begins a fistfight, attacking Marty's stomach. He reels back in pain, and Marty takes advantage of his suprise, and knocks him out, resulting in Tannen falling into a manure cart. Marty reveals that he mimicked something he saw in a Clint Eastwood movie: he used part of a stove as a shield. Tannen gets arrested, and Marty and the Doc catch the train. However, Clara catches on to the scheme, and follows them. Doc, having to save Clara from the collapsing locomotive, misses the DeLorean, and Marty goes back alone. Once he gets back, however, the DeLorean gets hit by a train, with Marty just barely escaping. He goes to check on Jennifer, and they see Needles, who challenges Marty to a street race. However, it was earliar established that this race will result in Marty hitting a Rolls-Royce, and his life spiraling into a catastrophe. Marty begins to shift gears, and when the light turns green, the cars take off. Needles wins, and the Rolls-Royce rounds the corner. However, Marty moved in reverse, deciding not to race him. Jennifer then discovers that the note she took back from the future has erased. They then go back to the sight of the DeLorean's wreck. While looking through it, they see the train corossing bars go down, though no train is there. Suddenly, a large steam locomotive appears out of nowhere, heavily altered. The door opens, and Doc runs out to greet Marty. He then introduces Clara, and their children: Jules and Verne. After letting Marty know that he managed to develop a steam-powered flux capacitor, and showing that he picked up Einstein, he activates the trains flying abilities, and travels away.
And that concludes the Back to the Future trilogy. An intresting fact about it is that it draws little attention to itself. Every one calls it a classic, but parodies of it are few and far between. However, it will always live on in the hearts of us all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make sure my parents meeting isn't disrupted. It's pretty heavy, but if I don't, there won't be much point in getting back to the future.
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